After covering the phones for 15 minutes with another hour to go, I have exhausted all forms of entertainment at the front desk. Yesterday, I discovered that something as simple as watching streaming video from ESPN.com can be detrimental to the computer systems here at Clothier & Head, PS. It all started back about two weeks ago.
The Olympics, as everyone should know, were held in Torino, or Turin, Italy this year. Time zones and the earths rotation as they are, most events of the Games took place while I was in bed. That, added to my not having regular access to a TV, meant I didn't see much of them. But the Internet is an amazing thing. You can, even now still, go there and watch all the Games, albeit, in short video clips. ESPN.com and NBC.com have combined to provide excellent coverage. This is what I had (past tense) been doing before now while I sat at the front desk and covered the phones. Now, not so much.
Yesterday, I was watching Apolo Anton Ohno slide victoriously after 500 meters on the short track, when the worst thing that can happen to a receptionist did. The computer reset, though I didn't know it at the time. At first it looked like I had killed the whole system. Both screens went black and there was nothing for a good four or five seconds. This is an even more tragic event at Clothier & Head, PS because the incoming switch board is tied directly to the computer and when it is off, so are the phones. Panic ensued. There was human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together - mass hysteria. I did the only thing I knew to do; I called Cait.
If I had waited that extra few seconds I would have known that the computers had, in fact, just reset and Cait was unnecessary, but as always I jumped the gun. When they started to come back on, I knew then that what I needed was Jen and her knowledge of her passwords to sign me back in. I sent Anjie on a mission. Jen came, crisis averted.
Now here is the funny part. I write today as if I knew then what had caused the initial shut down. Reality is much different. Yesterday, I didn't know what I had done; I just assumed the thing broke on its own without my being a contributor so understandably, I went right back to what I was trying to do in the first place, watch Apolo Anton Ohno slide victoriously after 500 meters on the short track. This time, however, Jen was at had and when the computer crashed for a second time, I knew it was me. This did not endear me towards Jen, luckily she is probably the nicest receptionist I have ever met, and she proceeded to inform me of the whole, phones not working when computer not working issue.
I took the hint and am no longer going to watch videos of the Olympics, or any other sporting event, even my beloved Huskies as they battle for the top spot in the Pac-10 and an automatic NCAA Tournament berth, not that they need it, at the reception desk, which is why I have nothing to do at this exact moment.
So once again, you have wasted another perfectly good hour listening to Car Talk. Oh, sorry, wrong ending.
Have a great day.
It is tomorrow.
Jason
Oh, BTW, Jen is back from her walk so I have managed to occupy this last hour, and it went by really fast. I hope it was as good for you as it was for me.
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Saturday, February 18, 2006
White House under fire over Cheney shooting
For everyone that does not live under a rock, bear with me in this next blog. Just yesterday some of my office mates were discussing, again, the stupidity of the discussion of this event. I couldn’t take it as it is such a non-story. So why then, you may be asking, am I being so hypocritical and bringing it up here? I do so because of something completely different that this story brought to mind.
The other day (I must confess that I should have written this blog that other day, but my life does not lend itself to the freedom to sit at a computer and type my thoughts. In the evenings the last thing I want to do is come home and be on the computer after having spent the entire day at one.) NPR was interviewing a cardiologist; questioning him about the severity and significance of the heart attack Harry Whittington had had days after being shot. The interviewer kept asking questions of the doctor: “How dangerous is this?” “What could be the long term effects?” “Is this heart attack serious?” The doctor, an “expert” in this field and more knowledgeable, I hope, than your average American, never once answered a question. He would say things like, “I haven’t seen the medical reports so I just can’t say for certain.” I was in my car at the time and wondered, “Why are you even on the radio program at all?”
This doctor was called upon to give his opinion. He didn’t. Why? I mentioned this to a pastor friend of mine. (Him being a pastor is inconsequential, he just happens to be one and I figured I would through that in so you all will know I hang with the right crowd.) He said that was the prudent thing to do. This doctor didn’t know the specific situation so don’t say anything. But I see it differently. The doctor wasn’t being asked to do anything more than educate some people, but he saw it as sticking his neck out. If he said something that was wrong, then he could, some how, be held liable? What, the doctors treating Harry would hear his opinion and change their own diagnosis and therefore be able to hold this other doctor accountable for his words? What is that all about?
Here is what I think. A couple things are at play in this whole scenario. 1. Americans are so unwilling to take responsibility for their actions that we look for anyone and anything to blame and hold accountable. 2. Humans, the men half in particular, are a bit weak in their own right and don’t know how to stand on their own two feet or convictions.
Where is all this coming from? Again, patience.
These last few months of my life have been marked by a resurgence of self evaluation. Now I have always been a bit reflective. Ok, there is no bit about it. But these last few have had some times of extreme confusion and seeking. One of the biggest areas has been in the realm of weak versus strong men. What do they look like? What characteristics are marked by a strong man? A weak one? The answer I have come up with is, “I don’t know?” My ignorance is not due to a personal lack but what I think is a universal inability. (Again, there is also a good amount of personal lack involved, but let’s not go there.) I don’t think that there is a concrete definition of strength that is possible on this earth, in human terms. Strength is like pornography as Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart said in 1964, “I can’t define it, but I know it when I see it.” We all can look at another person and decide on human terms if they are strong or weak. Sometimes it has to do with their position, or related wealth. It may be physical, in terms of mere mass, although I think most would be quick to say that a lot of buff dudes are so to cover up their true selves. It may be based on their presence and command of an audience. There are many other factors and all of these external characteristics are effortlessly put in the category of strength. But is that real strength?
Real strength can only be defined by the creator of it. Just as beauty can only be define by the creator of beauty. If you want to know what a painting, or sculpture, or poem, tome, drawing, building, or any other form of created thing means, then you have to ask the creator. No amount of speculation will ever be 100% accurate. So true strength is not defined by anything of this world, though the previous mentioned attributes are some of its by-products, but by something so completely other-worldly.
“If God’s moral judgement differs from ours so that our ‘black’ may be His ‘white’, we can mean nothing by calling Him good for to say ‘God is good’, while asserting that His goodness is wholly other than ours, is really only to say ‘God is we know not what’.” – C.S. Lewis
Here is why I don’t think that we, as humans, will ever fully be able to define it, or anything else of a Divine nature. “God is we know not what.” This is true as it relates to His goodness as much as to His strength, justice, mercy, grace, love, or faithfulness. The best I can do is to say that true strength is defined as true godliness. Look at the character of God, the creator of strength, and you will see the character of strength.
What does that look like then, the character of God? Wow, “there are also many other things which Jesus did, which if they were written in detail, I suppose that even the world itself would not contain the books that would be written.” But I love the image set forth before time began. “Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters. And God said, ‘Let there be light,’ and there was light.” Formless, empty, darkness, in a word, chaos. This was the beginning and God, our God, came; He established order, brought beauty and peace into what was previously nothing. Our God came and spoke into the unknown. Something I don’t see a lot of today, especially from myself.
So I don’t fault the doctor for not sticking his neck out, nobody else does. And this is why I think reason 1. exists. Not as a cause, but an effect. The cause is this world going away from the truth of its purpose, from its Creator. The effect is to hammer down anyone that would speak into the darkness as their Creator does. We want to beat out any image of the Divine. And we do it well, very well.
It is ironic though, that book ending this blog is Cheney. His response to the shooting is to take full responsibility. “I pulled the trigger, I am the only one at fault.” Is he a strong man? I don’t know, and I am certainly not advocating one way or the other, but speaking out is a start.
It is tomorrow.
Jason
The other day (I must confess that I should have written this blog that other day, but my life does not lend itself to the freedom to sit at a computer and type my thoughts. In the evenings the last thing I want to do is come home and be on the computer after having spent the entire day at one.) NPR was interviewing a cardiologist; questioning him about the severity and significance of the heart attack Harry Whittington had had days after being shot. The interviewer kept asking questions of the doctor: “How dangerous is this?” “What could be the long term effects?” “Is this heart attack serious?” The doctor, an “expert” in this field and more knowledgeable, I hope, than your average American, never once answered a question. He would say things like, “I haven’t seen the medical reports so I just can’t say for certain.” I was in my car at the time and wondered, “Why are you even on the radio program at all?”
This doctor was called upon to give his opinion. He didn’t. Why? I mentioned this to a pastor friend of mine. (Him being a pastor is inconsequential, he just happens to be one and I figured I would through that in so you all will know I hang with the right crowd.) He said that was the prudent thing to do. This doctor didn’t know the specific situation so don’t say anything. But I see it differently. The doctor wasn’t being asked to do anything more than educate some people, but he saw it as sticking his neck out. If he said something that was wrong, then he could, some how, be held liable? What, the doctors treating Harry would hear his opinion and change their own diagnosis and therefore be able to hold this other doctor accountable for his words? What is that all about?
Here is what I think. A couple things are at play in this whole scenario. 1. Americans are so unwilling to take responsibility for their actions that we look for anyone and anything to blame and hold accountable. 2. Humans, the men half in particular, are a bit weak in their own right and don’t know how to stand on their own two feet or convictions.
Where is all this coming from? Again, patience.
These last few months of my life have been marked by a resurgence of self evaluation. Now I have always been a bit reflective. Ok, there is no bit about it. But these last few have had some times of extreme confusion and seeking. One of the biggest areas has been in the realm of weak versus strong men. What do they look like? What characteristics are marked by a strong man? A weak one? The answer I have come up with is, “I don’t know?” My ignorance is not due to a personal lack but what I think is a universal inability. (Again, there is also a good amount of personal lack involved, but let’s not go there.) I don’t think that there is a concrete definition of strength that is possible on this earth, in human terms. Strength is like pornography as Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart said in 1964, “I can’t define it, but I know it when I see it.” We all can look at another person and decide on human terms if they are strong or weak. Sometimes it has to do with their position, or related wealth. It may be physical, in terms of mere mass, although I think most would be quick to say that a lot of buff dudes are so to cover up their true selves. It may be based on their presence and command of an audience. There are many other factors and all of these external characteristics are effortlessly put in the category of strength. But is that real strength?
Real strength can only be defined by the creator of it. Just as beauty can only be define by the creator of beauty. If you want to know what a painting, or sculpture, or poem, tome, drawing, building, or any other form of created thing means, then you have to ask the creator. No amount of speculation will ever be 100% accurate. So true strength is not defined by anything of this world, though the previous mentioned attributes are some of its by-products, but by something so completely other-worldly.
“If God’s moral judgement differs from ours so that our ‘black’ may be His ‘white’, we can mean nothing by calling Him good for to say ‘God is good’, while asserting that His goodness is wholly other than ours, is really only to say ‘God is we know not what’.” – C.S. Lewis
Here is why I don’t think that we, as humans, will ever fully be able to define it, or anything else of a Divine nature. “God is we know not what.” This is true as it relates to His goodness as much as to His strength, justice, mercy, grace, love, or faithfulness. The best I can do is to say that true strength is defined as true godliness. Look at the character of God, the creator of strength, and you will see the character of strength.
What does that look like then, the character of God? Wow, “there are also many other things which Jesus did, which if they were written in detail, I suppose that even the world itself would not contain the books that would be written.” But I love the image set forth before time began. “Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters. And God said, ‘Let there be light,’ and there was light.” Formless, empty, darkness, in a word, chaos. This was the beginning and God, our God, came; He established order, brought beauty and peace into what was previously nothing. Our God came and spoke into the unknown. Something I don’t see a lot of today, especially from myself.
So I don’t fault the doctor for not sticking his neck out, nobody else does. And this is why I think reason 1. exists. Not as a cause, but an effect. The cause is this world going away from the truth of its purpose, from its Creator. The effect is to hammer down anyone that would speak into the darkness as their Creator does. We want to beat out any image of the Divine. And we do it well, very well.
It is ironic though, that book ending this blog is Cheney. His response to the shooting is to take full responsibility. “I pulled the trigger, I am the only one at fault.” Is he a strong man? I don’t know, and I am certainly not advocating one way or the other, but speaking out is a start.
It is tomorrow.
Jason
Thursday, February 9, 2006
Finally
I am not sure if anyone else is happy that that one post is gone. You know the one. The world map post that was wider than the average post and made my sidebar drop to the bottom of the screen. Well, at least I am glad it is gone, it was annoying.
I am personning the phones at work. Which are part of my duties as Admin Be'och, or Man Slave as I have most affectionately been called. It is not bad now that I have figured out how to use them, oh there is a call...
One of the perks of personning the phones is that you have relative freedom to do nothing else but that. I do try and get a bit of other work done, but more or less I spend the time on the Internet, guilt free. As I was surfing a bit, I realized that I could also sit here and type a blog or two. Or just one, because I am at the tail end of this personning and the regular phone personner is on her way back.
Work is still going well, although I haven't figured out how the rest of the world works 40 hours each week. Seriously, you work every day and that is just about all you do during the week. I am now looking to cut back a few of the other things that I do in the evening, but that is not easy. The choices are: Young Life, UCU, Community Group, or Bible Class. None of which I want to give up. I have decided not to add anything new. I was interested in helping out with the Youth Group at my church, but that will have to be put off until I finish class.
Now she is back and I must go.
I am personning the phones at work. Which are part of my duties as Admin Be'och, or Man Slave as I have most affectionately been called. It is not bad now that I have figured out how to use them, oh there is a call...
One of the perks of personning the phones is that you have relative freedom to do nothing else but that. I do try and get a bit of other work done, but more or less I spend the time on the Internet, guilt free. As I was surfing a bit, I realized that I could also sit here and type a blog or two. Or just one, because I am at the tail end of this personning and the regular phone personner is on her way back.
Work is still going well, although I haven't figured out how the rest of the world works 40 hours each week. Seriously, you work every day and that is just about all you do during the week. I am now looking to cut back a few of the other things that I do in the evening, but that is not easy. The choices are: Young Life, UCU, Community Group, or Bible Class. None of which I want to give up. I have decided not to add anything new. I was interested in helping out with the Youth Group at my church, but that will have to be put off until I finish class.
Now she is back and I must go.
Sunday, February 5, 2006
Super bowl over
We will see where this goes. I honestly can't say because my mind is literally in a 1000 places right now. If itwasn't 10:10 on a Sunday night, work looming in the near future, and if I had enough speed and caffeine to keep me awake, I could write a book. I will give it my best shot and most likely what you, the masses, read will not be what was penned this evening.
As mentioned, it is 10:10 on Sunday evening. Black Sunday as it will now be known, and said first (maybe) by yours truly. The Seahawks lost tonight. Which is not even close to why I am in the state that I am in. It was a glorious run, for what looked like a better part of three quarters, I was feeling a victory, but alas the gods were against us. It is probably because we are the least churched city in American and you know how they love their churches. But enough about that. I really don't care and I know no one will believe me, especially after I start this blog with them. But in my defense, they are the biggest pop culture event and as I have always been one to play to the masses, you got to catch them in their place. Feed the animal and it will come back for more. Seriously, I make good money writing this shtuff and I know where my base is.
The really story, however, lies in the after game show. That show and everything things else that has happened in my life over the last three weeks. Three weeks, what is that? It is absurd to think that the feelings I have after only three weeks, which was preceded by maybe a month, are feelings I could possibly consider really. What are three weeks in eternity, what is a month? Sorry, I am off subject.
The after game show was of the recently nominated film, Crash. And film would be the appropriate designation. My brother and I, when we were out "bonding", were talking over the last holidays about the difference between a movie and a film. I don't remember what a lot of those distinctions where, but I can tell you what I do remember and I know that from what I remember that Crash is a film. Crash is probably the most profound movie I have seen in, forever. Well, forever is a long time, so let's go with, "as long as I can remember at this point."
The thing with the movie is that it fits right into everything I have been reading and hearing about us pathetic humans. Here is the deal. We suck! Really, we suck hard core. There is nothing good about us, and if you think otherwise, that just proves my point. In crash, there wasn't one good person. Anyone you thought was good ended up being bad, and the bad guys came out looking a little better, but only a little. All of them sucked. And that is humans. We suck!
On my Sundays, I am told that time and time again. It sounds harsh to hear it here, and it even sounds that way on most Sundays, but it sounds harsh because it is true. "Reality is like a fine wine, it doesn't appeal to children." - stolen from a quote of a quote of a book by an author who I read once, recently. When I read that, the world made sense, if only for the moment. I am a child and I don't like the reality of life because it is hard, and harsh, and no fun and work, and people are mean and they suck and they are selfish, cruel, bias, racist, short sighted, ignorant, blind, deaf, and dumb. If we weren't like that then the world would be heaven. But it is so obviously not heaven that at times I want to scream. Luckily those times are few and far between and even in those few and far times, I can manage to go without because I know a little something else. (OK maybe I do scream, but I would deny it and you couldn't prove it if you wanted to.)
What I am trying to say is that I suck too. All those adjectives describe me just as much as the next human. Everyone says it, only in a nicer way. "Nobody's perfect! We all make mistakes." In Crash, I related to so many of the characters. The one I related to the most today was the TV producer/director. The tragic scene where his wife is being, well, raped, by that sleazy cop and he just stands there silent, is more than I can
As mentioned, it is 10:10 on Sunday evening. Black Sunday as it will now be known, and said first (maybe) by yours truly. The Seahawks lost tonight. Which is not even close to why I am in the state that I am in. It was a glorious run, for what looked like a better part of three quarters, I was feeling a victory, but alas the gods were against us. It is probably because we are the least churched city in American and you know how they love their churches. But enough about that. I really don't care and I know no one will believe me, especially after I start this blog with them. But in my defense, they are the biggest pop culture event and as I have always been one to play to the masses, you got to catch them in their place. Feed the animal and it will come back for more. Seriously, I make good money writing this shtuff and I know where my base is.
The really story, however, lies in the after game show. That show and everything things else that has happened in my life over the last three weeks. Three weeks, what is that? It is absurd to think that the feelings I have after only three weeks, which was preceded by maybe a month, are feelings I could possibly consider really. What are three weeks in eternity, what is a month? Sorry, I am off subject.
The after game show was of the recently nominated film, Crash. And film would be the appropriate designation. My brother and I, when we were out "bonding", were talking over the last holidays about the difference between a movie and a film. I don't remember what a lot of those distinctions where, but I can tell you what I do remember and I know that from what I remember that Crash is a film. Crash is probably the most profound movie I have seen in, forever. Well, forever is a long time, so let's go with, "as long as I can remember at this point."
The thing with the movie is that it fits right into everything I have been reading and hearing about us pathetic humans. Here is the deal. We suck! Really, we suck hard core. There is nothing good about us, and if you think otherwise, that just proves my point. In crash, there wasn't one good person. Anyone you thought was good ended up being bad, and the bad guys came out looking a little better, but only a little. All of them sucked. And that is humans. We suck!
On my Sundays, I am told that time and time again. It sounds harsh to hear it here, and it even sounds that way on most Sundays, but it sounds harsh because it is true. "Reality is like a fine wine, it doesn't appeal to children." - stolen from a quote of a quote of a book by an author who I read once, recently. When I read that, the world made sense, if only for the moment. I am a child and I don't like the reality of life because it is hard, and harsh, and no fun and work, and people are mean and they suck and they are selfish, cruel, bias, racist, short sighted, ignorant, blind, deaf, and dumb. If we weren't like that then the world would be heaven. But it is so obviously not heaven that at times I want to scream. Luckily those times are few and far between and even in those few and far times, I can manage to go without because I know a little something else. (OK maybe I do scream, but I would deny it and you couldn't prove it if you wanted to.)
What I am trying to say is that I suck too. All those adjectives describe me just as much as the next human. Everyone says it, only in a nicer way. "Nobody's perfect! We all make mistakes." In Crash, I related to so many of the characters. The one I related to the most today was the TV producer/director. The tragic scene where his wife is being, well, raped, by that sleazy cop and he just stands there silent, is more than I can
Saturday, January 21, 2006
Update
So a short update is in order. It would be a good guess that if anyone is still reading this blog, then they would be interested in the following happenings. If you read this blog because of all the insightful, witty, and intelligent blogs that normally happen, then you will want to skip this one as it will be all about me.
Let’s start with the most recent stuff and work backwards.
I just finished my first three days of working for Clothier & Head PS. When I say work, I mean an actual position for which I will receive money and a W-2 (I mention that because if you have clicked the link you will see that C&H is a CPA firm). My position can best be described as mail boy, but I quickly moved beyond that and into a word processor position. When I say quickly, I mean they moved me before day one; it was nothing of my doing. In the capacity of word processing, my job duties are not limited to, but include the following: typing up tax forms on an ancient IBM word processor( i.e. mastering white-out, yelling at the machine, and wondering often what century it is.), scanning hard copies of documents into soft copies, typing up and editing letters, inputting new client information into the computers (this includes putting the same information into three different databases, none of which talk to each other, a problem soon to be rectified), making coffee, cleaning the kitchen, answering the phones, and anything else that the lowest man on the totem pole would do.
After three days, I am pretty excited. Let me explain why. This is a great company, about 50 people total, with a great atmosphere and climate. At various times throughout the year, I am told, the entire company has a 5:01. This is when at exactly 5:01pm, company purchased beer and wine, cheese, crackers, and anything else snacky, are laid out in the café and a party ensues. We had one of these just yesterday as a kick off for the busy tax season coming up. I was pouring myself a nice Merlot when the CEO, Mike Vanderslice, aka The Slice, looks up and says, “Jason, how has your first week been?” He remembered my name, pretty cool. We then proceeded to talk for the next 20 minutes about the company, my observations, my history, and such. I was in a sort of kissing ass mood and proceeded to be very complimentary of the company, him as the CEO, and the general attitudes and philosophies that I had seen such far. Let me continue that here and say that he and the company are pretty cool. At one point he asked me why a helicopter captain, army officer, was doing his word processing. I explained my goals in ministry a bit and he seemed very interested. The best part of the conversation was when we talked about leadership. Having some experience in that, I told him how I saw that his company had some markers of good leaders; I explained my philosophy of how it is the leader’s job to make the life of those working for him easier, essentially, the leader works for the lead. The Slice asked me if I had heard of a concept called servant leadership. Hmm… I said I had.
This new job has been long in coming, I really do enjoy my co-workers, and the work itself is super easy. The first day, I found myself folding envelopes. For about three hours I stood there, all dressed up in a shirt with buttons, non-cargo-pants, and black leather, Allen Edmonds, $285.00, shoes, folding thousands of folders. My thoughts were, “I can’t believe I am folding these things”, followed quickly by, “I can’t believe they are paying me to fold these things.” It should be interesting to see just what God has in store in that place. His glory I am guessing.
Other things: I moved to Ballard, I might have mentioned that; I did get a new car, 1993 Honda Accord EX, sunroof and all. The mechanic has it right now to check up on things. Frustratingly, I gave it to him last Tuesday and when I called him yesterday, he still hadn’t gotten to it. The Holidays were spent in Georgia. I turned 30 (Had the best birthday in years. Three friends and I drove to Cannon Beach, about 4 hours, for lunch.). Doing more at Mars Hill. I was moved into the service lead for the security team at the 0830 and will hopefully start doing stuff with PROXY, the youth group. That is about all I care to share at this point.
Life is going pretty good. It is definitely better than I deserve.
It is tomorrow.
Let’s start with the most recent stuff and work backwards.
I just finished my first three days of working for Clothier & Head PS. When I say work, I mean an actual position for which I will receive money and a W-2 (I mention that because if you have clicked the link you will see that C&H is a CPA firm). My position can best be described as mail boy, but I quickly moved beyond that and into a word processor position. When I say quickly, I mean they moved me before day one; it was nothing of my doing. In the capacity of word processing, my job duties are not limited to, but include the following: typing up tax forms on an ancient IBM word processor( i.e. mastering white-out, yelling at the machine, and wondering often what century it is.), scanning hard copies of documents into soft copies, typing up and editing letters, inputting new client information into the computers (this includes putting the same information into three different databases, none of which talk to each other, a problem soon to be rectified), making coffee, cleaning the kitchen, answering the phones, and anything else that the lowest man on the totem pole would do.
After three days, I am pretty excited. Let me explain why. This is a great company, about 50 people total, with a great atmosphere and climate. At various times throughout the year, I am told, the entire company has a 5:01. This is when at exactly 5:01pm, company purchased beer and wine, cheese, crackers, and anything else snacky, are laid out in the café and a party ensues. We had one of these just yesterday as a kick off for the busy tax season coming up. I was pouring myself a nice Merlot when the CEO, Mike Vanderslice, aka The Slice, looks up and says, “Jason, how has your first week been?” He remembered my name, pretty cool. We then proceeded to talk for the next 20 minutes about the company, my observations, my history, and such. I was in a sort of kissing ass mood and proceeded to be very complimentary of the company, him as the CEO, and the general attitudes and philosophies that I had seen such far. Let me continue that here and say that he and the company are pretty cool. At one point he asked me why a helicopter captain, army officer, was doing his word processing. I explained my goals in ministry a bit and he seemed very interested. The best part of the conversation was when we talked about leadership. Having some experience in that, I told him how I saw that his company had some markers of good leaders; I explained my philosophy of how it is the leader’s job to make the life of those working for him easier, essentially, the leader works for the lead. The Slice asked me if I had heard of a concept called servant leadership. Hmm… I said I had.
This new job has been long in coming, I really do enjoy my co-workers, and the work itself is super easy. The first day, I found myself folding envelopes. For about three hours I stood there, all dressed up in a shirt with buttons, non-cargo-pants, and black leather, Allen Edmonds, $285.00, shoes, folding thousands of folders. My thoughts were, “I can’t believe I am folding these things”, followed quickly by, “I can’t believe they are paying me to fold these things.” It should be interesting to see just what God has in store in that place. His glory I am guessing.
Other things: I moved to Ballard, I might have mentioned that; I did get a new car, 1993 Honda Accord EX, sunroof and all. The mechanic has it right now to check up on things. Frustratingly, I gave it to him last Tuesday and when I called him yesterday, he still hadn’t gotten to it. The Holidays were spent in Georgia. I turned 30 (Had the best birthday in years. Three friends and I drove to Cannon Beach, about 4 hours, for lunch.). Doing more at Mars Hill. I was moved into the service lead for the security team at the 0830 and will hopefully start doing stuff with PROXY, the youth group. That is about all I care to share at this point.
Life is going pretty good. It is definitely better than I deserve.
It is tomorrow.
Monday, January 16, 2006
Why is racism?
A quick thought, not even really developed, but since I was sitting at the computer…
Why is racism?
Why is there racism at all? Really, it doesn’t actually make sense in the bigger picture because all it does is make things worse for everyone. Here is an idea from Searching for God knows what.
Remember the question back in grade school? There are five, seven, ten people in a lifeboat; a white male lawyer, and black female doctor, a crippled boy, a stay-at-home mom, a garbage man, a, you figure out the rest. A decision has to be made. For the rest of the people to survive, one person has to be thrown overboard and killed. Murdered that is. Who would you pick? I remember doing this in junior high. I am guessing everyone has done this little sociological test at one point or another. It is a great test to see how people think, but what about the idea of the test itself. Where did the idea that not everyone gets to survive come from?
I think that this test is a marker of how we think, we meaning humans, all of us. There is something inside of us that makes us think that not everyone is going to survive and so it is an issue of figuring out if you are the one at the bottom of everyone’s list and are going to be thrown overboard. When we start to think this way… Start! It isn’t a matter of starting it is one of continuing; we didn’t start this fire, and when I say we, I mean those humans living today. Since we think this way, it is everyone’s goal to not be on the bottom. Racism is maybe the easiest way to not be on the bottom. If you can discount an entire race of humanity, then you are already above and safer than a certain large percentage of the population. That makes sense, but only in the context of someone being thrown out.
But what if? What if there isn’t a top and bottom or being thrown overboard isn’t a bad thing? That would mean those that are are laughing at the rest of us who thought we were succeeding. But I can’t say for sure because I am pretty sure I am still in the boat. There are a lot of people in my world below me. Sad, I know, you don’t have to point it out.
Chew on that for a while.
It is tomorrow.
Jason
Why is racism?
Why is there racism at all? Really, it doesn’t actually make sense in the bigger picture because all it does is make things worse for everyone. Here is an idea from Searching for God knows what.
Remember the question back in grade school? There are five, seven, ten people in a lifeboat; a white male lawyer, and black female doctor, a crippled boy, a stay-at-home mom, a garbage man, a, you figure out the rest. A decision has to be made. For the rest of the people to survive, one person has to be thrown overboard and killed. Murdered that is. Who would you pick? I remember doing this in junior high. I am guessing everyone has done this little sociological test at one point or another. It is a great test to see how people think, but what about the idea of the test itself. Where did the idea that not everyone gets to survive come from?
I think that this test is a marker of how we think, we meaning humans, all of us. There is something inside of us that makes us think that not everyone is going to survive and so it is an issue of figuring out if you are the one at the bottom of everyone’s list and are going to be thrown overboard. When we start to think this way… Start! It isn’t a matter of starting it is one of continuing; we didn’t start this fire, and when I say we, I mean those humans living today. Since we think this way, it is everyone’s goal to not be on the bottom. Racism is maybe the easiest way to not be on the bottom. If you can discount an entire race of humanity, then you are already above and safer than a certain large percentage of the population. That makes sense, but only in the context of someone being thrown out.
But what if? What if there isn’t a top and bottom or being thrown overboard isn’t a bad thing? That would mean those that are are laughing at the rest of us who thought we were succeeding. But I can’t say for sure because I am pretty sure I am still in the boat. There are a lot of people in my world below me. Sad, I know, you don’t have to point it out.
Chew on that for a while.
It is tomorrow.
Jason
Thursday, January 5, 2006
Adam and Eve
There have been a number of things running through my mind these past weeks and I should probably split them into a few different posts. The problem is I haven’t seemed to be able to post even a little in that time so here goes.
The first thing that must be said is probably the most profound statement ever made. And when I say profound, I don’t mean by me, I mean profound in the whole history of the universe, the whole history of humanity. And it isn’t anything that probably any of you haven’t heard a hundred times before. So why I would even say it now doesn’t make sense to me, but just the other day it hit me again. Like a ton of bricks it hit me. And here is that profound, utterly fascinating and wholly unfathomable statement:
God Loves You!
I know what you are saying, or maybe thinking because if you are saying it then you are probably getting some weird looks (that is if you are at the library or a coffee shop). You are thinking, “Duh! Of course He does!” But here is where I feel a little like Robin Williams.
“God loves you”
“I know”
“No you don’t, God loves you.”
“I know”
“No listen to me son, God… loves… you!”
“I know that”
“God loves you”
“God loves you”
“Don’t f#% with me Jesus, not you”
“God loves you”
We don’t get it. I don’t get it. Every once in a while, on that small island called my mind, I see a glimpse of this reality. And when I do, it is so scary and amazingly wonderful at the same time, that every time, I do just like Will did. See here is a truth that is so far beyond my comprehension that I quickly pass over the depth of the thought. Even now I can’t explain it, not here. This is a thought for people so much smarter than I. People like the following authors whose books that have brought about the second and last of my ideas.
(Lets pause a moment and discuss tonight’s refreshment. I am at my buddy’s, Chris Landry, place. It is an Army weekend and Chris is so incredibly kind each and every one to offer up his home and his spirits. Tonight’s is a 10 year old single malt whisky from The Balvenie Distillery, Banffshire, Scotland. Good stuff. You might remember that I drink it straight, no ice. I love to hold it in my mouth and savor the flavor. A really good scotch goes down so smooth you don’t even feel it. This isn’t that, but it is still good enough to savor. Good enough to hold for a moment, breath deep and then let it trickle down the back of your throat and settle in your stomach. A warm sensation begins deep inside as it melts into me and reminds me of the good old days back in ‘05 when life was simpler. Oh…, what a trip!)
There have been a couple ideas that have been exploring my island recently and meet tonight. The first comes from the series of Eldridge books. When God spoke, He had a plan. That plan was screwed up by its participants and the result was a big mess for all involved. Now it is probably sacrilegious or something to say that The Big Guy was in a mess, but it is starting to appear that way to me. But I don’t want to go into that, our mess is obvious. Eldridge, and now his wife, say that everyone is messed up and guys and girls are both screwed, but in different ways.
A guy is screwed in his strength. His biggest question is, “Do I have what it takes?” He, and when I say he, I mean me, goes through life trying desperately to answer that question. And because we are all in a mess, that answer tries to come from many places, but in the end, only one place knows what the answer is and can hence give it as the ultimate satisfaction of said man, i.e. me. Unfortunately, like Will, we miss the point so often and look at all the false answers instead of The Answer.
Women are screwed in their, well something else, and they ask everyday, “Am I lovely?” And just as sadly as the men, they look for the answer in the myriad of places that would be so willing to sell their dime store excuses to the fallen. In the same way for both men and women, “there can be only One.” So two halves to humanity, two questions. But are there really two questions?
No, there really is only one. “Who am I?” Since the man is intricately designed to be defined by his strength and likewise the women was woven in time to be the climatical being of glory, that one question is foundationally divided at its root. And my question simply is, “Why?”
An answer follows:
I am in the middle of reading “Searching for God knows what” by Donald Miller. (I feel a little guilty because I was at a talk he gave back in late November early December and it was very thought provoking. Normally I would have penned my thoughts for the masses, but there were other things going on and writing had taken a back seat. I wish I could say my car accident was one of those things, but it was at the earliest a week later so I can’t use that great and sympathy producing one.) Only a few chapters in, to be exact, and the theme of the book I have picked up on is one of relationships. This is what Don was talking about a few weeks ago and seems to be his mantra. “We are relational.” We were created to be in relationship. This isn’t a new idea, but here are some thoughts.
If God created us to be in relationships, especially with Him, then it goes without saying that we would be incomplete without them. C.S Lewis says that all throughout the history of humanity we have needed to be defined by something other than ourselves. There is an innate desire to know what others think about us. I, and all these other much smarter people, believe that to be true because that is how we where made. God made me and you to be in a relationship with Him, to be told by Him who we are, and when He isn’t there, we look for the next best thing. So when we ask, “Who am I?”, we are only doing what we were made to do.
Now here is where God did His amazing, His thoughts are higher than my thoughts, thing. In designing us to be in a relationship with Him, he also made man and woman just different enough so that we would compliment and push each other to want that relationship. (Last draw, oh what simple pleasures.) A man needs to know he is strong and a woman, lovely. That can only be perfectly answered by The One that is both perfect strength and perfect beauty, but in our fallen state, we only have glimpses and traces of The Truth.
Moses penned the beginning. He writes about the trees, and the fruit, and the naked humans enjoying their personal existence. But is it all joy? Yes it is, for a time. So then what about the aloneness? The pre-taking-a-bite-for-crime aloneness. It is there, and as Sailhamer through Miller points out, it was a good bit of time. God states that it is not good for man to be alone, and then he proceeds to parade the entire earth before him so that they all can get into the phone book. Guesses are that it was maybe a hundred years. So God says, in his best impression of James Earl Jones, “You need someone, lets slow cook for the next five score and really build the anticipation.” Granted Adam probably didn’t know what was coming, but if he did, he was one patient man. What was Adam doing for that 100 or so years? Working, yes. Keeping busy, no doubt. But was he complete, no.
This is where I start to wonder, “What was God accomplishing in those hundred years?” If I can relate it to my own life, He was making Adam into the man He wanted to be in a relationship with. Adam, like the rest of us, needed to grow.
So God used the waiting for Eve to mold Adam, just like he probably uses the waiting in our, my, life to mold us, me. And this helps answer those two questions. A scenario:
A man needs to know he is strong; he needs that confirmation more than life itself. What better way than to find it in the perseverance of earning the most glorious creation? A woman needs to know she is lovely, more than anything. What better way than to find it in the perseverance of earning the most glorious creation? See how we fit together. If a man doesn’t strive, work, endure, endeavor, pursue, then what is the value of the accomplishment? He has to do all those things. He has to. A woman has to be won with striving, work, endurance, endeavor, pursuit. She has to. I am not saying that a man and a woman complete each other, not at all. I am saying that a man and a woman are tools used to complete each other. We are all tools.
My good friend Anjie honestly asked what a woman should do when it comes to relationships. Things seem to be broken in the whole relationship system, and I have spent a good amount of time talking about what a dude should do, but what about the other 50% of the world. Well, they have to be pursued. Is that easy? It would seem so at first glance. “Hey, boys, here I am sitting on my porch waiting, come, pursue.” In my mind, that seems like the easier road. But ask any girl, and I have, if it is easy to wait, and they will let you know the real truth, sometimes more than once. Heck no it isn’t easy. With each passing day, their question isn’t answered in the affirmative and hence is answered in the negative. Just as with each passing day for a man, their question is answered, “maybe you really don’t have it?”
So they have to be pursued, and in my black and white world, the longer and harder the pursuit, the louder the YES is the answer of the questions on both ends. I am starting to think that the system is harder for the ladies because they have to deal with a class of men that are wimps, that give up well before the questions can be truly answered. I don’t blame them for giving in to early in the downward spiral that is this world. I wish they wouldn’t, but I don’t blame them.
So the next, and last, question is, “is it all worth it?”
Heck Yes!!!
It is tomorrow.
Jason
The first thing that must be said is probably the most profound statement ever made. And when I say profound, I don’t mean by me, I mean profound in the whole history of the universe, the whole history of humanity. And it isn’t anything that probably any of you haven’t heard a hundred times before. So why I would even say it now doesn’t make sense to me, but just the other day it hit me again. Like a ton of bricks it hit me. And here is that profound, utterly fascinating and wholly unfathomable statement:
God Loves You!
I know what you are saying, or maybe thinking because if you are saying it then you are probably getting some weird looks (that is if you are at the library or a coffee shop). You are thinking, “Duh! Of course He does!” But here is where I feel a little like Robin Williams.
“God loves you”
“I know”
“No you don’t, God loves you.”
“I know”
“No listen to me son, God… loves… you!”
“I know that”
“God loves you”
“God loves you”
“Don’t f#% with me Jesus, not you”
“God loves you”
We don’t get it. I don’t get it. Every once in a while, on that small island called my mind, I see a glimpse of this reality. And when I do, it is so scary and amazingly wonderful at the same time, that every time, I do just like Will did. See here is a truth that is so far beyond my comprehension that I quickly pass over the depth of the thought. Even now I can’t explain it, not here. This is a thought for people so much smarter than I. People like the following authors whose books that have brought about the second and last of my ideas.
(Lets pause a moment and discuss tonight’s refreshment. I am at my buddy’s, Chris Landry, place. It is an Army weekend and Chris is so incredibly kind each and every one to offer up his home and his spirits. Tonight’s is a 10 year old single malt whisky from The Balvenie Distillery, Banffshire, Scotland. Good stuff. You might remember that I drink it straight, no ice. I love to hold it in my mouth and savor the flavor. A really good scotch goes down so smooth you don’t even feel it. This isn’t that, but it is still good enough to savor. Good enough to hold for a moment, breath deep and then let it trickle down the back of your throat and settle in your stomach. A warm sensation begins deep inside as it melts into me and reminds me of the good old days back in ‘05 when life was simpler. Oh…, what a trip!)
There have been a couple ideas that have been exploring my island recently and meet tonight. The first comes from the series of Eldridge books. When God spoke, He had a plan. That plan was screwed up by its participants and the result was a big mess for all involved. Now it is probably sacrilegious or something to say that The Big Guy was in a mess, but it is starting to appear that way to me. But I don’t want to go into that, our mess is obvious. Eldridge, and now his wife, say that everyone is messed up and guys and girls are both screwed, but in different ways.
A guy is screwed in his strength. His biggest question is, “Do I have what it takes?” He, and when I say he, I mean me, goes through life trying desperately to answer that question. And because we are all in a mess, that answer tries to come from many places, but in the end, only one place knows what the answer is and can hence give it as the ultimate satisfaction of said man, i.e. me. Unfortunately, like Will, we miss the point so often and look at all the false answers instead of The Answer.
Women are screwed in their, well something else, and they ask everyday, “Am I lovely?” And just as sadly as the men, they look for the answer in the myriad of places that would be so willing to sell their dime store excuses to the fallen. In the same way for both men and women, “there can be only One.” So two halves to humanity, two questions. But are there really two questions?
No, there really is only one. “Who am I?” Since the man is intricately designed to be defined by his strength and likewise the women was woven in time to be the climatical being of glory, that one question is foundationally divided at its root. And my question simply is, “Why?”
An answer follows:
I am in the middle of reading “Searching for God knows what” by Donald Miller. (I feel a little guilty because I was at a talk he gave back in late November early December and it was very thought provoking. Normally I would have penned my thoughts for the masses, but there were other things going on and writing had taken a back seat. I wish I could say my car accident was one of those things, but it was at the earliest a week later so I can’t use that great and sympathy producing one.) Only a few chapters in, to be exact, and the theme of the book I have picked up on is one of relationships. This is what Don was talking about a few weeks ago and seems to be his mantra. “We are relational.” We were created to be in relationship. This isn’t a new idea, but here are some thoughts.
If God created us to be in relationships, especially with Him, then it goes without saying that we would be incomplete without them. C.S Lewis says that all throughout the history of humanity we have needed to be defined by something other than ourselves. There is an innate desire to know what others think about us. I, and all these other much smarter people, believe that to be true because that is how we where made. God made me and you to be in a relationship with Him, to be told by Him who we are, and when He isn’t there, we look for the next best thing. So when we ask, “Who am I?”, we are only doing what we were made to do.
Now here is where God did His amazing, His thoughts are higher than my thoughts, thing. In designing us to be in a relationship with Him, he also made man and woman just different enough so that we would compliment and push each other to want that relationship. (Last draw, oh what simple pleasures.) A man needs to know he is strong and a woman, lovely. That can only be perfectly answered by The One that is both perfect strength and perfect beauty, but in our fallen state, we only have glimpses and traces of The Truth.
Moses penned the beginning. He writes about the trees, and the fruit, and the naked humans enjoying their personal existence. But is it all joy? Yes it is, for a time. So then what about the aloneness? The pre-taking-a-bite-for-crime aloneness. It is there, and as Sailhamer through Miller points out, it was a good bit of time. God states that it is not good for man to be alone, and then he proceeds to parade the entire earth before him so that they all can get into the phone book. Guesses are that it was maybe a hundred years. So God says, in his best impression of James Earl Jones, “You need someone, lets slow cook for the next five score and really build the anticipation.” Granted Adam probably didn’t know what was coming, but if he did, he was one patient man. What was Adam doing for that 100 or so years? Working, yes. Keeping busy, no doubt. But was he complete, no.
This is where I start to wonder, “What was God accomplishing in those hundred years?” If I can relate it to my own life, He was making Adam into the man He wanted to be in a relationship with. Adam, like the rest of us, needed to grow.
So God used the waiting for Eve to mold Adam, just like he probably uses the waiting in our, my, life to mold us, me. And this helps answer those two questions. A scenario:
A man needs to know he is strong; he needs that confirmation more than life itself. What better way than to find it in the perseverance of earning the most glorious creation? A woman needs to know she is lovely, more than anything. What better way than to find it in the perseverance of earning the most glorious creation? See how we fit together. If a man doesn’t strive, work, endure, endeavor, pursue, then what is the value of the accomplishment? He has to do all those things. He has to. A woman has to be won with striving, work, endurance, endeavor, pursuit. She has to. I am not saying that a man and a woman complete each other, not at all. I am saying that a man and a woman are tools used to complete each other. We are all tools.
My good friend Anjie honestly asked what a woman should do when it comes to relationships. Things seem to be broken in the whole relationship system, and I have spent a good amount of time talking about what a dude should do, but what about the other 50% of the world. Well, they have to be pursued. Is that easy? It would seem so at first glance. “Hey, boys, here I am sitting on my porch waiting, come, pursue.” In my mind, that seems like the easier road. But ask any girl, and I have, if it is easy to wait, and they will let you know the real truth, sometimes more than once. Heck no it isn’t easy. With each passing day, their question isn’t answered in the affirmative and hence is answered in the negative. Just as with each passing day for a man, their question is answered, “maybe you really don’t have it?”
So they have to be pursued, and in my black and white world, the longer and harder the pursuit, the louder the YES is the answer of the questions on both ends. I am starting to think that the system is harder for the ladies because they have to deal with a class of men that are wimps, that give up well before the questions can be truly answered. I don’t blame them for giving in to early in the downward spiral that is this world. I wish they wouldn’t, but I don’t blame them.
So the next, and last, question is, “is it all worth it?”
Heck Yes!!!
It is tomorrow.
Jason
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