So a short update is in order. It would be a good guess that if anyone is still reading this blog, then they would be interested in the following happenings. If you read this blog because of all the insightful, witty, and intelligent blogs that normally happen, then you will want to skip this one as it will be all about me.
Let’s start with the most recent stuff and work backwards.
I just finished my first three days of working for Clothier & Head PS. When I say work, I mean an actual position for which I will receive money and a W-2 (I mention that because if you have clicked the link you will see that C&H is a CPA firm). My position can best be described as mail boy, but I quickly moved beyond that and into a word processor position. When I say quickly, I mean they moved me before day one; it was nothing of my doing. In the capacity of word processing, my job duties are not limited to, but include the following: typing up tax forms on an ancient IBM word processor( i.e. mastering white-out, yelling at the machine, and wondering often what century it is.), scanning hard copies of documents into soft copies, typing up and editing letters, inputting new client information into the computers (this includes putting the same information into three different databases, none of which talk to each other, a problem soon to be rectified), making coffee, cleaning the kitchen, answering the phones, and anything else that the lowest man on the totem pole would do.
After three days, I am pretty excited. Let me explain why. This is a great company, about 50 people total, with a great atmosphere and climate. At various times throughout the year, I am told, the entire company has a 5:01. This is when at exactly 5:01pm, company purchased beer and wine, cheese, crackers, and anything else snacky, are laid out in the café and a party ensues. We had one of these just yesterday as a kick off for the busy tax season coming up. I was pouring myself a nice Merlot when the CEO, Mike Vanderslice, aka The Slice, looks up and says, “Jason, how has your first week been?” He remembered my name, pretty cool. We then proceeded to talk for the next 20 minutes about the company, my observations, my history, and such. I was in a sort of kissing ass mood and proceeded to be very complimentary of the company, him as the CEO, and the general attitudes and philosophies that I had seen such far. Let me continue that here and say that he and the company are pretty cool. At one point he asked me why a helicopter captain, army officer, was doing his word processing. I explained my goals in ministry a bit and he seemed very interested. The best part of the conversation was when we talked about leadership. Having some experience in that, I told him how I saw that his company had some markers of good leaders; I explained my philosophy of how it is the leader’s job to make the life of those working for him easier, essentially, the leader works for the lead. The Slice asked me if I had heard of a concept called servant leadership. Hmm… I said I had.
This new job has been long in coming, I really do enjoy my co-workers, and the work itself is super easy. The first day, I found myself folding envelopes. For about three hours I stood there, all dressed up in a shirt with buttons, non-cargo-pants, and black leather, Allen Edmonds, $285.00, shoes, folding thousands of folders. My thoughts were, “I can’t believe I am folding these things”, followed quickly by, “I can’t believe they are paying me to fold these things.” It should be interesting to see just what God has in store in that place. His glory I am guessing.
Other things: I moved to Ballard, I might have mentioned that; I did get a new car, 1993 Honda Accord EX, sunroof and all. The mechanic has it right now to check up on things. Frustratingly, I gave it to him last Tuesday and when I called him yesterday, he still hadn’t gotten to it. The Holidays were spent in Georgia. I turned 30 (Had the best birthday in years. Three friends and I drove to Cannon Beach, about 4 hours, for lunch.). Doing more at Mars Hill. I was moved into the service lead for the security team at the 0830 and will hopefully start doing stuff with PROXY, the youth group. That is about all I care to share at this point.
Life is going pretty good. It is definitely better than I deserve.
It is tomorrow.
Saturday, January 21, 2006
Monday, January 16, 2006
Why is racism?
A quick thought, not even really developed, but since I was sitting at the computer…
Why is racism?
Why is there racism at all? Really, it doesn’t actually make sense in the bigger picture because all it does is make things worse for everyone. Here is an idea from Searching for God knows what.
Remember the question back in grade school? There are five, seven, ten people in a lifeboat; a white male lawyer, and black female doctor, a crippled boy, a stay-at-home mom, a garbage man, a, you figure out the rest. A decision has to be made. For the rest of the people to survive, one person has to be thrown overboard and killed. Murdered that is. Who would you pick? I remember doing this in junior high. I am guessing everyone has done this little sociological test at one point or another. It is a great test to see how people think, but what about the idea of the test itself. Where did the idea that not everyone gets to survive come from?
I think that this test is a marker of how we think, we meaning humans, all of us. There is something inside of us that makes us think that not everyone is going to survive and so it is an issue of figuring out if you are the one at the bottom of everyone’s list and are going to be thrown overboard. When we start to think this way… Start! It isn’t a matter of starting it is one of continuing; we didn’t start this fire, and when I say we, I mean those humans living today. Since we think this way, it is everyone’s goal to not be on the bottom. Racism is maybe the easiest way to not be on the bottom. If you can discount an entire race of humanity, then you are already above and safer than a certain large percentage of the population. That makes sense, but only in the context of someone being thrown out.
But what if? What if there isn’t a top and bottom or being thrown overboard isn’t a bad thing? That would mean those that are are laughing at the rest of us who thought we were succeeding. But I can’t say for sure because I am pretty sure I am still in the boat. There are a lot of people in my world below me. Sad, I know, you don’t have to point it out.
Chew on that for a while.
It is tomorrow.
Jason
Why is racism?
Why is there racism at all? Really, it doesn’t actually make sense in the bigger picture because all it does is make things worse for everyone. Here is an idea from Searching for God knows what.
Remember the question back in grade school? There are five, seven, ten people in a lifeboat; a white male lawyer, and black female doctor, a crippled boy, a stay-at-home mom, a garbage man, a, you figure out the rest. A decision has to be made. For the rest of the people to survive, one person has to be thrown overboard and killed. Murdered that is. Who would you pick? I remember doing this in junior high. I am guessing everyone has done this little sociological test at one point or another. It is a great test to see how people think, but what about the idea of the test itself. Where did the idea that not everyone gets to survive come from?
I think that this test is a marker of how we think, we meaning humans, all of us. There is something inside of us that makes us think that not everyone is going to survive and so it is an issue of figuring out if you are the one at the bottom of everyone’s list and are going to be thrown overboard. When we start to think this way… Start! It isn’t a matter of starting it is one of continuing; we didn’t start this fire, and when I say we, I mean those humans living today. Since we think this way, it is everyone’s goal to not be on the bottom. Racism is maybe the easiest way to not be on the bottom. If you can discount an entire race of humanity, then you are already above and safer than a certain large percentage of the population. That makes sense, but only in the context of someone being thrown out.
But what if? What if there isn’t a top and bottom or being thrown overboard isn’t a bad thing? That would mean those that are are laughing at the rest of us who thought we were succeeding. But I can’t say for sure because I am pretty sure I am still in the boat. There are a lot of people in my world below me. Sad, I know, you don’t have to point it out.
Chew on that for a while.
It is tomorrow.
Jason
Thursday, January 5, 2006
Adam and Eve
There have been a number of things running through my mind these past weeks and I should probably split them into a few different posts. The problem is I haven’t seemed to be able to post even a little in that time so here goes.
The first thing that must be said is probably the most profound statement ever made. And when I say profound, I don’t mean by me, I mean profound in the whole history of the universe, the whole history of humanity. And it isn’t anything that probably any of you haven’t heard a hundred times before. So why I would even say it now doesn’t make sense to me, but just the other day it hit me again. Like a ton of bricks it hit me. And here is that profound, utterly fascinating and wholly unfathomable statement:
God Loves You!
I know what you are saying, or maybe thinking because if you are saying it then you are probably getting some weird looks (that is if you are at the library or a coffee shop). You are thinking, “Duh! Of course He does!” But here is where I feel a little like Robin Williams.
“God loves you”
“I know”
“No you don’t, God loves you.”
“I know”
“No listen to me son, God… loves… you!”
“I know that”
“God loves you”
“God loves you”
“Don’t f#% with me Jesus, not you”
“God loves you”
We don’t get it. I don’t get it. Every once in a while, on that small island called my mind, I see a glimpse of this reality. And when I do, it is so scary and amazingly wonderful at the same time, that every time, I do just like Will did. See here is a truth that is so far beyond my comprehension that I quickly pass over the depth of the thought. Even now I can’t explain it, not here. This is a thought for people so much smarter than I. People like the following authors whose books that have brought about the second and last of my ideas.
(Lets pause a moment and discuss tonight’s refreshment. I am at my buddy’s, Chris Landry, place. It is an Army weekend and Chris is so incredibly kind each and every one to offer up his home and his spirits. Tonight’s is a 10 year old single malt whisky from The Balvenie Distillery, Banffshire, Scotland. Good stuff. You might remember that I drink it straight, no ice. I love to hold it in my mouth and savor the flavor. A really good scotch goes down so smooth you don’t even feel it. This isn’t that, but it is still good enough to savor. Good enough to hold for a moment, breath deep and then let it trickle down the back of your throat and settle in your stomach. A warm sensation begins deep inside as it melts into me and reminds me of the good old days back in ‘05 when life was simpler. Oh…, what a trip!)
There have been a couple ideas that have been exploring my island recently and meet tonight. The first comes from the series of Eldridge books. When God spoke, He had a plan. That plan was screwed up by its participants and the result was a big mess for all involved. Now it is probably sacrilegious or something to say that The Big Guy was in a mess, but it is starting to appear that way to me. But I don’t want to go into that, our mess is obvious. Eldridge, and now his wife, say that everyone is messed up and guys and girls are both screwed, but in different ways.
A guy is screwed in his strength. His biggest question is, “Do I have what it takes?” He, and when I say he, I mean me, goes through life trying desperately to answer that question. And because we are all in a mess, that answer tries to come from many places, but in the end, only one place knows what the answer is and can hence give it as the ultimate satisfaction of said man, i.e. me. Unfortunately, like Will, we miss the point so often and look at all the false answers instead of The Answer.
Women are screwed in their, well something else, and they ask everyday, “Am I lovely?” And just as sadly as the men, they look for the answer in the myriad of places that would be so willing to sell their dime store excuses to the fallen. In the same way for both men and women, “there can be only One.” So two halves to humanity, two questions. But are there really two questions?
No, there really is only one. “Who am I?” Since the man is intricately designed to be defined by his strength and likewise the women was woven in time to be the climatical being of glory, that one question is foundationally divided at its root. And my question simply is, “Why?”
An answer follows:
I am in the middle of reading “Searching for God knows what” by Donald Miller. (I feel a little guilty because I was at a talk he gave back in late November early December and it was very thought provoking. Normally I would have penned my thoughts for the masses, but there were other things going on and writing had taken a back seat. I wish I could say my car accident was one of those things, but it was at the earliest a week later so I can’t use that great and sympathy producing one.) Only a few chapters in, to be exact, and the theme of the book I have picked up on is one of relationships. This is what Don was talking about a few weeks ago and seems to be his mantra. “We are relational.” We were created to be in relationship. This isn’t a new idea, but here are some thoughts.
If God created us to be in relationships, especially with Him, then it goes without saying that we would be incomplete without them. C.S Lewis says that all throughout the history of humanity we have needed to be defined by something other than ourselves. There is an innate desire to know what others think about us. I, and all these other much smarter people, believe that to be true because that is how we where made. God made me and you to be in a relationship with Him, to be told by Him who we are, and when He isn’t there, we look for the next best thing. So when we ask, “Who am I?”, we are only doing what we were made to do.
Now here is where God did His amazing, His thoughts are higher than my thoughts, thing. In designing us to be in a relationship with Him, he also made man and woman just different enough so that we would compliment and push each other to want that relationship. (Last draw, oh what simple pleasures.) A man needs to know he is strong and a woman, lovely. That can only be perfectly answered by The One that is both perfect strength and perfect beauty, but in our fallen state, we only have glimpses and traces of The Truth.
Moses penned the beginning. He writes about the trees, and the fruit, and the naked humans enjoying their personal existence. But is it all joy? Yes it is, for a time. So then what about the aloneness? The pre-taking-a-bite-for-crime aloneness. It is there, and as Sailhamer through Miller points out, it was a good bit of time. God states that it is not good for man to be alone, and then he proceeds to parade the entire earth before him so that they all can get into the phone book. Guesses are that it was maybe a hundred years. So God says, in his best impression of James Earl Jones, “You need someone, lets slow cook for the next five score and really build the anticipation.” Granted Adam probably didn’t know what was coming, but if he did, he was one patient man. What was Adam doing for that 100 or so years? Working, yes. Keeping busy, no doubt. But was he complete, no.
This is where I start to wonder, “What was God accomplishing in those hundred years?” If I can relate it to my own life, He was making Adam into the man He wanted to be in a relationship with. Adam, like the rest of us, needed to grow.
So God used the waiting for Eve to mold Adam, just like he probably uses the waiting in our, my, life to mold us, me. And this helps answer those two questions. A scenario:
A man needs to know he is strong; he needs that confirmation more than life itself. What better way than to find it in the perseverance of earning the most glorious creation? A woman needs to know she is lovely, more than anything. What better way than to find it in the perseverance of earning the most glorious creation? See how we fit together. If a man doesn’t strive, work, endure, endeavor, pursue, then what is the value of the accomplishment? He has to do all those things. He has to. A woman has to be won with striving, work, endurance, endeavor, pursuit. She has to. I am not saying that a man and a woman complete each other, not at all. I am saying that a man and a woman are tools used to complete each other. We are all tools.
My good friend Anjie honestly asked what a woman should do when it comes to relationships. Things seem to be broken in the whole relationship system, and I have spent a good amount of time talking about what a dude should do, but what about the other 50% of the world. Well, they have to be pursued. Is that easy? It would seem so at first glance. “Hey, boys, here I am sitting on my porch waiting, come, pursue.” In my mind, that seems like the easier road. But ask any girl, and I have, if it is easy to wait, and they will let you know the real truth, sometimes more than once. Heck no it isn’t easy. With each passing day, their question isn’t answered in the affirmative and hence is answered in the negative. Just as with each passing day for a man, their question is answered, “maybe you really don’t have it?”
So they have to be pursued, and in my black and white world, the longer and harder the pursuit, the louder the YES is the answer of the questions on both ends. I am starting to think that the system is harder for the ladies because they have to deal with a class of men that are wimps, that give up well before the questions can be truly answered. I don’t blame them for giving in to early in the downward spiral that is this world. I wish they wouldn’t, but I don’t blame them.
So the next, and last, question is, “is it all worth it?”
Heck Yes!!!
It is tomorrow.
Jason
The first thing that must be said is probably the most profound statement ever made. And when I say profound, I don’t mean by me, I mean profound in the whole history of the universe, the whole history of humanity. And it isn’t anything that probably any of you haven’t heard a hundred times before. So why I would even say it now doesn’t make sense to me, but just the other day it hit me again. Like a ton of bricks it hit me. And here is that profound, utterly fascinating and wholly unfathomable statement:
God Loves You!
I know what you are saying, or maybe thinking because if you are saying it then you are probably getting some weird looks (that is if you are at the library or a coffee shop). You are thinking, “Duh! Of course He does!” But here is where I feel a little like Robin Williams.
“God loves you”
“I know”
“No you don’t, God loves you.”
“I know”
“No listen to me son, God… loves… you!”
“I know that”
“God loves you”
“God loves you”
“Don’t f#% with me Jesus, not you”
“God loves you”
We don’t get it. I don’t get it. Every once in a while, on that small island called my mind, I see a glimpse of this reality. And when I do, it is so scary and amazingly wonderful at the same time, that every time, I do just like Will did. See here is a truth that is so far beyond my comprehension that I quickly pass over the depth of the thought. Even now I can’t explain it, not here. This is a thought for people so much smarter than I. People like the following authors whose books that have brought about the second and last of my ideas.
(Lets pause a moment and discuss tonight’s refreshment. I am at my buddy’s, Chris Landry, place. It is an Army weekend and Chris is so incredibly kind each and every one to offer up his home and his spirits. Tonight’s is a 10 year old single malt whisky from The Balvenie Distillery, Banffshire, Scotland. Good stuff. You might remember that I drink it straight, no ice. I love to hold it in my mouth and savor the flavor. A really good scotch goes down so smooth you don’t even feel it. This isn’t that, but it is still good enough to savor. Good enough to hold for a moment, breath deep and then let it trickle down the back of your throat and settle in your stomach. A warm sensation begins deep inside as it melts into me and reminds me of the good old days back in ‘05 when life was simpler. Oh…, what a trip!)
There have been a couple ideas that have been exploring my island recently and meet tonight. The first comes from the series of Eldridge books. When God spoke, He had a plan. That plan was screwed up by its participants and the result was a big mess for all involved. Now it is probably sacrilegious or something to say that The Big Guy was in a mess, but it is starting to appear that way to me. But I don’t want to go into that, our mess is obvious. Eldridge, and now his wife, say that everyone is messed up and guys and girls are both screwed, but in different ways.
A guy is screwed in his strength. His biggest question is, “Do I have what it takes?” He, and when I say he, I mean me, goes through life trying desperately to answer that question. And because we are all in a mess, that answer tries to come from many places, but in the end, only one place knows what the answer is and can hence give it as the ultimate satisfaction of said man, i.e. me. Unfortunately, like Will, we miss the point so often and look at all the false answers instead of The Answer.
Women are screwed in their, well something else, and they ask everyday, “Am I lovely?” And just as sadly as the men, they look for the answer in the myriad of places that would be so willing to sell their dime store excuses to the fallen. In the same way for both men and women, “there can be only One.” So two halves to humanity, two questions. But are there really two questions?
No, there really is only one. “Who am I?” Since the man is intricately designed to be defined by his strength and likewise the women was woven in time to be the climatical being of glory, that one question is foundationally divided at its root. And my question simply is, “Why?”
An answer follows:
I am in the middle of reading “Searching for God knows what” by Donald Miller. (I feel a little guilty because I was at a talk he gave back in late November early December and it was very thought provoking. Normally I would have penned my thoughts for the masses, but there were other things going on and writing had taken a back seat. I wish I could say my car accident was one of those things, but it was at the earliest a week later so I can’t use that great and sympathy producing one.) Only a few chapters in, to be exact, and the theme of the book I have picked up on is one of relationships. This is what Don was talking about a few weeks ago and seems to be his mantra. “We are relational.” We were created to be in relationship. This isn’t a new idea, but here are some thoughts.
If God created us to be in relationships, especially with Him, then it goes without saying that we would be incomplete without them. C.S Lewis says that all throughout the history of humanity we have needed to be defined by something other than ourselves. There is an innate desire to know what others think about us. I, and all these other much smarter people, believe that to be true because that is how we where made. God made me and you to be in a relationship with Him, to be told by Him who we are, and when He isn’t there, we look for the next best thing. So when we ask, “Who am I?”, we are only doing what we were made to do.
Now here is where God did His amazing, His thoughts are higher than my thoughts, thing. In designing us to be in a relationship with Him, he also made man and woman just different enough so that we would compliment and push each other to want that relationship. (Last draw, oh what simple pleasures.) A man needs to know he is strong and a woman, lovely. That can only be perfectly answered by The One that is both perfect strength and perfect beauty, but in our fallen state, we only have glimpses and traces of The Truth.
Moses penned the beginning. He writes about the trees, and the fruit, and the naked humans enjoying their personal existence. But is it all joy? Yes it is, for a time. So then what about the aloneness? The pre-taking-a-bite-for-crime aloneness. It is there, and as Sailhamer through Miller points out, it was a good bit of time. God states that it is not good for man to be alone, and then he proceeds to parade the entire earth before him so that they all can get into the phone book. Guesses are that it was maybe a hundred years. So God says, in his best impression of James Earl Jones, “You need someone, lets slow cook for the next five score and really build the anticipation.” Granted Adam probably didn’t know what was coming, but if he did, he was one patient man. What was Adam doing for that 100 or so years? Working, yes. Keeping busy, no doubt. But was he complete, no.
This is where I start to wonder, “What was God accomplishing in those hundred years?” If I can relate it to my own life, He was making Adam into the man He wanted to be in a relationship with. Adam, like the rest of us, needed to grow.
So God used the waiting for Eve to mold Adam, just like he probably uses the waiting in our, my, life to mold us, me. And this helps answer those two questions. A scenario:
A man needs to know he is strong; he needs that confirmation more than life itself. What better way than to find it in the perseverance of earning the most glorious creation? A woman needs to know she is lovely, more than anything. What better way than to find it in the perseverance of earning the most glorious creation? See how we fit together. If a man doesn’t strive, work, endure, endeavor, pursue, then what is the value of the accomplishment? He has to do all those things. He has to. A woman has to be won with striving, work, endurance, endeavor, pursuit. She has to. I am not saying that a man and a woman complete each other, not at all. I am saying that a man and a woman are tools used to complete each other. We are all tools.
My good friend Anjie honestly asked what a woman should do when it comes to relationships. Things seem to be broken in the whole relationship system, and I have spent a good amount of time talking about what a dude should do, but what about the other 50% of the world. Well, they have to be pursued. Is that easy? It would seem so at first glance. “Hey, boys, here I am sitting on my porch waiting, come, pursue.” In my mind, that seems like the easier road. But ask any girl, and I have, if it is easy to wait, and they will let you know the real truth, sometimes more than once. Heck no it isn’t easy. With each passing day, their question isn’t answered in the affirmative and hence is answered in the negative. Just as with each passing day for a man, their question is answered, “maybe you really don’t have it?”
So they have to be pursued, and in my black and white world, the longer and harder the pursuit, the louder the YES is the answer of the questions on both ends. I am starting to think that the system is harder for the ladies because they have to deal with a class of men that are wimps, that give up well before the questions can be truly answered. I don’t blame them for giving in to early in the downward spiral that is this world. I wish they wouldn’t, but I don’t blame them.
So the next, and last, question is, “is it all worth it?”
Heck Yes!!!
It is tomorrow.
Jason
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