Tully's is an anomaly to me. Here I sit, mooching their new free Wi-Fi and sucking down a $2.14 steamed milk with Spiced Pumpkin and whipped cream in the heart of Starbuck's land. Some brilliant entrepreneurs thought back in 1992 that Seattle would be a great place to start another major coffee chain, like we didn't have enough places to get our drug! The anomaly is not that they tried, but that they are succeeding. They came to Seattle and set up shop, Starbuck's with a different name. Oh well, free internet; good thing because the one at my house is currently TU.
It is a few weeks past, but I think that the time has given me enough reflection to speak objectively of the half Ironman I completed on September 23rd, 2006. Let me start with the results. You will have to follow the links to them. My race was the Blackdiamond half Ironman held on the 23rd. Most of you, meaning probably 3 people that still read this, don't know that I have been training all summer for this triathlon. I averaged between 8-10 hours of training a week for 3 months. That doesn't sound like much, but trust me, it is. Not enough to be really competitive, but enough to feel it. I would swim a few times a week in Greenlake, maybe get a couple rides in and a couple runs. It was like a part time job and looking back I am glad and sad it is over. The goal, if I am around, will be to finish a full IM next summer. Wish me luck. Let's skip the details of the training as that would be quite an endeavor, both for you and me, and go right to the race day action.
The race took place down in Enumclaw, WA, at the base of Mt Rainier. 1.2 mile swim, 61.87 mile bike and then 13.1 miles of running. As all of you have seen by now, I was 42nd overall, not bad. 5:44:42 is a decent time. For hard core triathletes, you may be saying that my overall time isn't that impressive, just remember the extra 6 miles on the ride equates to about 20 minutes, 5:24 isn't bad. Here is how the race went:
It was a 9:00AM wave start. All the men, followed after 5 minutes by the women and relays. Swimming is certainly not my strongest event but I am very happy with 36 minutes. By comparison, my training partner, Alyssa Smith, did the same swim in 26 minutes, but she swam in college were as I played intramural soccer. I came out of the water not very winded, I tend to hold back in preparation for the bike. They say you will never win a triathlon in the swim, but you can definitely lose it there. I jumped on the bike and headed out. Now is a good time to mention the other competitors Grant Jaffarian and Jeremy Allen. They are friends of mine.
Welcome back.
You will have noticed that I beat both of them out of the water. Grant by only 2 minutes. I was hoping to beat him by a lot more than that, at the time it didn't mater because I didn't know, I just knew I was in the lead at that time. Grant you will also noticed, kicked my but overall. Smoked me by 28 minutes. Before the race my goal was to beat him. I knew he was stronger than me in the run but I had him on the swim. It was the bike that was going to make the difference, I figured I would have to take him by at least 10 minutes on the bike. I figured right, but road wrong. I watched grant pass me about 20 miles into the ride and never saw him again. At that point, I will admit, my raced changed from a competition to a completion. Now I didn't let up, but I certainly wasn't going to kill myself. After he passed me, I settled into my race grove, pushing myself as I do. It was a good ride. I averaged 19.5 mph, not bad for 62 miles, especially considering the large hill at mile 35. They measured the hill as a 500 foot elevation gain over 2 miles. Yes, it isn't the tour de France, but I am no Floyd Landis. (I know of no time in my career that I have willingly done any sort of performance enhancing drugs. Does Flinstone vitamins count?) Looking back, I probably could have road harder, but I have a very good excuse.
Right from the beginning my right knee was acting up. I have short ITBs and if I do not stretch enough, my knees will be utterly painful, to painful to run. Well, that morning I was rushed and hence did not stretch enough. No one to blame but myself. Even in the swim I could feel the tightness and knew that things weren't looking good for the home team. During the bike I was always trying to stretch my legs, but it was no good. I started the run and only 2 miles into it was reduced more or less to a shuffle. The few down hills saw me pick up the pace, but anytime I had to work at it, I was useless. I walked up most of the hills and through all the aid stations. You could say I was disappointed on the run. So much so that by the time I finished the race, I was even winded. Certainly my body was drained and my muscles thrashed, but my lungs could have kept going.
Over all, no complaints. The most promising thing is that a few days after the race, I was thinking about the next one, considering how my training is going to change, and how I will definitely get to the race much earlier next time. Compare that with the marathon I ran in 1997, I didn't want to even think about running for probably 6 months.
Weekend America interviewed Dean Karnazes today. He is a runner of runner, running 40, 50, 60 hours, hours not miles, hours at a time. He said near the end of the show something about how we in Western Culture are lost. We do not have anything to struggle for in life and hence we don't have purpose (He didn't mention the purpose part, I inferred that). He uses running as a source of struggle, and I will say he is accomplishing something like struggle. Right now this dude is in the middle of running 50 marathons in 50 states in 50 consecutive days. Crazy!!!
Since the race I haven't done much. A few rides, a few swims, no running. I am taking a month or two off. I deserve it.
Switching gears...
I was talking to Adam Avitable the other day. We were talking about blogging and how I haven't been. It reminded me that I have been blogging, some, what I haven't been doing is posting those blogs. I save them on my computer, but at this point have never gone back and posted them. I am going to try and do so now. Let me warn you that if I can figure it out, I am going to post them with their original dates so you diehards will have to go back and search them out. Not that hard.
It has been good typing with you and maybe next time I will actually tell you how I am doing.
It is tomorrow.
Jason
Saturday, October 7, 2006
Sunday, September 10, 2006
Baby Seals
Here is the deal. I haven’t blogged in a while, but I am sure you have noticed. At this point, nobody should even be coming to this site so I don’t think anyone at all will read this. Which means I get to write to the impersonal, you, out in them land.
Labor day a week ago, I spent at Discovery Park here in Seattle. My original intentions where to go camping, but that didn’t work out. Discovery was a good second. The day started mid morning as I decided to sleep downstairs without a clock. I rolled out of bed around 9:00, ate some breakfast and then jumped in the car to look for a secluded spot to sit, read, journal, study, and pray. Magnolia hill has some small parks surrounding the top of the hill with benches and good views. On the way there I was talking to God about a good place to spend some time. I wanted a picnic table, near the top of a hill, looking west so I could see the mountains and Sound. Isolated would be nice and situated in the shade of a tree since the sun was shining brightly that day. I drove around Magnolia without any luck and ended up in Discovery Park. It showed promise. Well, after parking the car, packing a little water and my books, I set out in the park. It was only minutes of walking when right there, as I pictured it in my head and prayed for in my heart, was my picnic table. Coincidence or God?
The next few hours included some good times in the Word, a little prayer, reflection, and rest.
I then went for a reflective walk. Discovery Park is pretty big and you can definitely get lost in it. Along the way I met Lisa. She was a 50 something lady from Orlando, FL. Altamonte Springs to be exact. She is a speech therapist, but her passion is really working with orphaned animals. She is tired of working with humans. We talked for a couple hours. She doesn’t like her sister-in-law who lives here in Seattle with her brother and two nephews. Lisa is originally from Indiana but moved to Florida with her husband back in the 90s. It was nice to sit and talk. After her brother and his wife returned from circling the park, I was by myself again. A few more hours, a nap on some rocks down by the water, finding a set of concrete stairs that just disappeared into the water, and lots of walking filled the day.
The most notable event was in the afternoon. Walking along the beach I noticed a group of people congregated, looking and pointing toward the water, and chatting together. As I drew closer, I notice what all the excitement was about. An adorable baby seal was lying amongst the drift wood about 10 feet from the waters edge. No one knew what to do, but everyone knew something had to be done. Comments like, “It looks in distress!”, “It is trying to get to the water, we should help it.”, “Has someone called the park service?”, and the like were brought up by each person that entered our little group. With authority, a lady stated that her friend knows this guy that is on the board of directors for the park and that he said that mother seals will sometimes leave their young on the beaches for up to 12 hours (they have highly developed internal clocks) while they search for food and that we shouldn’t disturb the young seal. A younger guy had to be almost restrained from going down to the water to push the seal in. It was quite comical.
I stood there for a while. The seal was very cute. It would look back at us from the waters edge with its big, dark eyes and supermodel eyelashes and just seems to beg for pity and help. I can sense why there are so many conscience souls that are sold out on their protection. I was close to giving it a little shove towards the water myself.
Standing there I wished I had had this amazing insight into our human psyche, but I didn’t. All I could think about was how these people wanted to help something that probably didn’t want or need our help.
The day ended like this blog will, with more of a whimper than a bang. It was a good day none the less.
It is tomorrow.
Jason
Labor day a week ago, I spent at Discovery Park here in Seattle. My original intentions where to go camping, but that didn’t work out. Discovery was a good second. The day started mid morning as I decided to sleep downstairs without a clock. I rolled out of bed around 9:00, ate some breakfast and then jumped in the car to look for a secluded spot to sit, read, journal, study, and pray. Magnolia hill has some small parks surrounding the top of the hill with benches and good views. On the way there I was talking to God about a good place to spend some time. I wanted a picnic table, near the top of a hill, looking west so I could see the mountains and Sound. Isolated would be nice and situated in the shade of a tree since the sun was shining brightly that day. I drove around Magnolia without any luck and ended up in Discovery Park. It showed promise. Well, after parking the car, packing a little water and my books, I set out in the park. It was only minutes of walking when right there, as I pictured it in my head and prayed for in my heart, was my picnic table. Coincidence or God?
The next few hours included some good times in the Word, a little prayer, reflection, and rest.
I then went for a reflective walk. Discovery Park is pretty big and you can definitely get lost in it. Along the way I met Lisa. She was a 50 something lady from Orlando, FL. Altamonte Springs to be exact. She is a speech therapist, but her passion is really working with orphaned animals. She is tired of working with humans. We talked for a couple hours. She doesn’t like her sister-in-law who lives here in Seattle with her brother and two nephews. Lisa is originally from Indiana but moved to Florida with her husband back in the 90s. It was nice to sit and talk. After her brother and his wife returned from circling the park, I was by myself again. A few more hours, a nap on some rocks down by the water, finding a set of concrete stairs that just disappeared into the water, and lots of walking filled the day.
The most notable event was in the afternoon. Walking along the beach I noticed a group of people congregated, looking and pointing toward the water, and chatting together. As I drew closer, I notice what all the excitement was about. An adorable baby seal was lying amongst the drift wood about 10 feet from the waters edge. No one knew what to do, but everyone knew something had to be done. Comments like, “It looks in distress!”, “It is trying to get to the water, we should help it.”, “Has someone called the park service?”, and the like were brought up by each person that entered our little group. With authority, a lady stated that her friend knows this guy that is on the board of directors for the park and that he said that mother seals will sometimes leave their young on the beaches for up to 12 hours (they have highly developed internal clocks) while they search for food and that we shouldn’t disturb the young seal. A younger guy had to be almost restrained from going down to the water to push the seal in. It was quite comical.
I stood there for a while. The seal was very cute. It would look back at us from the waters edge with its big, dark eyes and supermodel eyelashes and just seems to beg for pity and help. I can sense why there are so many conscience souls that are sold out on their protection. I was close to giving it a little shove towards the water myself.
Standing there I wished I had had this amazing insight into our human psyche, but I didn’t. All I could think about was how these people wanted to help something that probably didn’t want or need our help.
The day ended like this blog will, with more of a whimper than a bang. It was a good day none the less.
It is tomorrow.
Jason
Saturday, July 22, 2006
What a day!
My brother calls me this morning and asks if I had heard about dad.
What about him?
I just called mom and she couldn't talk because she is taking him to the hospital, he is having chest pains, it's pretty serious.
What? Where are they? Hold on, let me call mom and put her on three-way.
Mom, this is Jason
I can't talk right now I am trying to listen to the nurse, I will call you back, bye.
And then there was nothing. Talk about rocking your world? Sitting in the Revolutions coffee shop, across the street from Greg's, I just start to cry. I couldn't hold them back. I get back on the phone with Justin and we connect with Tiffany and Jared. The four of us kids talk for a while, Tiffany prays, I cry.
I guess there has just been a lot going on in my head. Reading this book about dads and brothers, football and what it means to be a man is just working me over and then this. Here was the worst thought too. My dad turns 60 this year, his dad died when he was 64, when my dad was 30, the same age as I am right now. I was just kept imagining my dad dying. It could happen, it will happen, and with that I will be worthless for a long time. I love my dad.
So what do you do when mortality hits you like it did me this morning? I don't know, move closer so that you can spend more time together. I love the quote from the song "Wear Sunscreen",
"Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future."
I am going to take her advice. I just ordered this book, Questions for My Father: Finding the Man Behind Your Dad, we will see if it is any good. I'll let you know.
It is tomorrow.
Jason
Oh, and dad is fine. They are holding him over night at the hospital for test and just to be careful. The docs haven't ruled out a heart attack, but they feel it is unlikely. Probably the Mexican food.
What about him?
I just called mom and she couldn't talk because she is taking him to the hospital, he is having chest pains, it's pretty serious.
What? Where are they? Hold on, let me call mom and put her on three-way.
Mom, this is Jason
I can't talk right now I am trying to listen to the nurse, I will call you back, bye.
And then there was nothing. Talk about rocking your world? Sitting in the Revolutions coffee shop, across the street from Greg's, I just start to cry. I couldn't hold them back. I get back on the phone with Justin and we connect with Tiffany and Jared. The four of us kids talk for a while, Tiffany prays, I cry.
I guess there has just been a lot going on in my head. Reading this book about dads and brothers, football and what it means to be a man is just working me over and then this. Here was the worst thought too. My dad turns 60 this year, his dad died when he was 64, when my dad was 30, the same age as I am right now. I was just kept imagining my dad dying. It could happen, it will happen, and with that I will be worthless for a long time. I love my dad.
So what do you do when mortality hits you like it did me this morning? I don't know, move closer so that you can spend more time together. I love the quote from the song "Wear Sunscreen",
"Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future."
I am going to take her advice. I just ordered this book, Questions for My Father: Finding the Man Behind Your Dad, we will see if it is any good. I'll let you know.
It is tomorrow.
Jason
Oh, and dad is fine. They are holding him over night at the hospital for test and just to be careful. The docs haven't ruled out a heart attack, but they feel it is unlikely. Probably the Mexican food.
Friday, July 7, 2006
A window?
The choice—swim or blog? The answer is clear. Now you may be asking why not both? Well that is because I have somewhere to be in less than an hour. Actually the blog happened because I forgot that I also needed to go to the store before my 7:00 engagement, so swimming was really out of the question. SO lets get to the blog.
On the bus riding home from work, I sat across from this girl. She was cute. We kept stealing glances at each other. I would catch her looking at me, and she I. Each time either of our eyes would dart away avoiding any sort of eye contact. It wasn’t a big deal, I mean it didn’t happen more than three or four times over the course of the 30 minute ride. Here is my question: Why?
Why did both of us want to watch the other, but neither wanted to actually interact? One thought comes from another’s idea I recall. The eyes are the window to the soul. So much can be learned from the intent gaze of another and there is vulnerability in that. Next time you are around a child of less than one year observe. They will stare intently into your eyes. No blinking, no hint of shame or embarrassment, only pure intrigue. They have not yet grown to doubt themselves and question the motives of this world. Maybe that is what He means when He says, “faith like a child?”
If the eyes are the window to our soul, then it is understandable that those who think their soul something to hide would cast their eyes to the ground and shun the possibility that another person could access that part of their existence. I find that disturbing and sad but at the same time, understandable. We are all hiding something.
Well, that is all I have for now, off to a Bar-B-Q. I wonder what souls will be seen tonight.
It is tomorrow.
Jason
On the bus riding home from work, I sat across from this girl. She was cute. We kept stealing glances at each other. I would catch her looking at me, and she I. Each time either of our eyes would dart away avoiding any sort of eye contact. It wasn’t a big deal, I mean it didn’t happen more than three or four times over the course of the 30 minute ride. Here is my question: Why?
Why did both of us want to watch the other, but neither wanted to actually interact? One thought comes from another’s idea I recall. The eyes are the window to the soul. So much can be learned from the intent gaze of another and there is vulnerability in that. Next time you are around a child of less than one year observe. They will stare intently into your eyes. No blinking, no hint of shame or embarrassment, only pure intrigue. They have not yet grown to doubt themselves and question the motives of this world. Maybe that is what He means when He says, “faith like a child?”
If the eyes are the window to our soul, then it is understandable that those who think their soul something to hide would cast their eyes to the ground and shun the possibility that another person could access that part of their existence. I find that disturbing and sad but at the same time, understandable. We are all hiding something.
Well, that is all I have for now, off to a Bar-B-Q. I wonder what souls will be seen tonight.
It is tomorrow.
Jason
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Previously Written
11:00 pm Tuesday night. Haven’t slept in 41 hours. Tired. I should be in bed asleep. It will be interesting to see if I can in the coming hours because there are limits to ones human ability. Today was enlightening, however, because in a very real way God answered a prayer. Over the last few weeks I have found it difficult to function near the end of the work day, after a short 7 or 8 hours, even with a normal amount of rest. Going into today I knew that I wasn’t going to make it unless He provided the strength. Leaning into Him, the work got done. Even now, my mind brings me to this post instead of a shower and pillow.
In the last 41 hours I have had two humbling conversations. My question is, “I wonder what God is up to in all of this?” I do know that He is frustratingly answering my prayers and yours. Remember those relational reconciliation requests, hence forth to be known as triple r’s? Well, true to Himself, God is faithful. Sometimes I just wish He wouldn’t be so faithful all at once.
My triple r’s are still there, please continue to pray, though not so often this time. Maybe cut back to interceding for me every other time you pray.
In other things, God is faithful. Oh, wait, said that already! I mean, He is though. The next big step in my part of the equation is to put on paper my vision as God has revealed it. This was a daunting task as that vision, in Young Life’s eyes, should be attractive, colorful, with pictures and good graphics. Not being the artistic type, I am less than confident of my abilities to produce something of quality. Sunday as I was talking with one of the other guys I serve with at church, the topic of his going to school in graphic arts came up. He pointed to a pamphlet he recently designed for this other ministry. Jumping on that, I asked if he would like to help me create the same. Enthusiastically he said yes. One less hurdle to cross and excuse to use. God is frustratingly faithful.
Now let’s try that sleep thing.
It is tomorrow.
Jason
In the last 41 hours I have had two humbling conversations. My question is, “I wonder what God is up to in all of this?” I do know that He is frustratingly answering my prayers and yours. Remember those relational reconciliation requests, hence forth to be known as triple r’s? Well, true to Himself, God is faithful. Sometimes I just wish He wouldn’t be so faithful all at once.
My triple r’s are still there, please continue to pray, though not so often this time. Maybe cut back to interceding for me every other time you pray.
In other things, God is faithful. Oh, wait, said that already! I mean, He is though. The next big step in my part of the equation is to put on paper my vision as God has revealed it. This was a daunting task as that vision, in Young Life’s eyes, should be attractive, colorful, with pictures and good graphics. Not being the artistic type, I am less than confident of my abilities to produce something of quality. Sunday as I was talking with one of the other guys I serve with at church, the topic of his going to school in graphic arts came up. He pointed to a pamphlet he recently designed for this other ministry. Jumping on that, I asked if he would like to help me create the same. Enthusiastically he said yes. One less hurdle to cross and excuse to use. God is frustratingly faithful.
Now let’s try that sleep thing.
It is tomorrow.
Jason
Sunday, June 4, 2006
What is Next?
I shaved my legs yesterday. What, isn’t that normal? No, really I did. See this morning was my season’s first triathlon and I wanted to test the no hairy legs option for the race. Its value in reducing wind drag is yet to be determined, but it does look funny. We will see what the massage therapist thinks this afternoon. It should help in that department.
But this post is not about triathlons, or shaved legs, or massages. It is an update as to where I am going, or more specifically, where God is taking me.
As some of you may know, I have been planning on moving to Europe to work with the teenagers of our military families. You all should remember my travels last year in Europe and the military ministry that I volunteered for. I am pretty sure that I also have been mentioning my continuing application process with Young Life International and where that is going. Well, the next step has taken place. Two weeks ago, I was down in Colorado Springs and was officially accepted by MCYM (Military Community Youth Ministries). What this means is that all the blocks have been checked, all the hoops jumped through, all the skeletons laid to rest and I am moving forward, full speed ahead, to be in Europe by the first part of next year. Allow me to expound.
A good starting point is the summer of 2000. I worked as the TCL (Training in Christian Living) Projects Coordinator for Lakeside Bible Camp (LBC). Prior to that, an Internet company occupied my day but my heart knew there was so much more. Maybe I should go back even further. (maybe not, I am writing a blog not a book) No, I will start with TCL. At LBC, for probably the first time, I really served my God. I had done things at various churches all growing up, but I can barely say I was a Christian, let alone a faithful servant. For the first time at camp, I gave my whole life to Jesus. He had it all. Working with teenagers, modeling Christ, working hard as an example and sharing His love eclipsed anything in my previous 24 years. A seed was planted; the thirst, ever so slightly quenched, called out to a longing in my heart and revealed so subtly what God had in store. That summer started it. And then the Army came calling.
The Army is a good thing. I don’t say it came calling like it interrupted the growth of that planted seed. It came calling to reveal its part in God’s plan. Did I know that at the time, no! Were there times in the Army that I questioned my place, doubted my resolve, worried about a wasted life, yes! See in my heart there has been a continued personal conflict. A paradox. I finally, after years of running from God, give Him everything, or at least think I do, and with that I found an amazing peace and joy. When I begin my military service, I find another purpose, a different sort of peace and joy, another passion. So there I was, these two passions before me: A life serving Christ and a life serving my country. The next five years were a blur.
James 1:6 talks about the surface of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. It does not know where it is going; only that forces outside itself give it direction. The sea is compared with a man who doubts. I was that man. On any given day, my two passions would collide. I could not see 1. How God could use those two passions together and 2. Why He had given me both of them. They seemed mutually exclusive. I could either do one or the other, but not both and certainly not both simultaneously. So I spend five years searching for the perfect job. Fast forward to last year.
It is the winter of 2004-2005. My army unit has recently returned from over a year in the desert and 9 months later I am still on Active Duty for various reasons. Still searching, I apply for various government jobs, consider staying in the Army, and generally am flailing about with the wind. My prayers to Jesus are strong and consistent, “What do you have for me?” Looking back it seems so obvious what His answers are, but at that time, I either wasn’t listening or didn’t comprehend. My time on Active Duty is coming to an end and it is clear that my work with the Army is doing the same. Again, I look back and am amazed by God’s timing. As I mentioned I had applied with some other government agencies. I am anxiously awaiting replies when the Active Duty releases me. Having not heard anything except “no’s”, and with no job or ties holding me back, I begin the long vacation traveling the world, the plan for which had been two years in the making.
It is the middle of Montana, March 7th, 2005. Driving to my brother’s place in Havre, I have listened to probably my 3rd or 4th Mars Hill sermon when an idea hits me. I remember the date because of this blog, “In the beginning…Day 1”. The idea I was talking about is that of going into full-time ministry. God was being very convincing that day and my first inclination was to plant a church. Mars Hill is big into church planting, hence my idea to plant a church. The thing is even before March 7th, I knew that God had His ministry in my future, but for what ever reason, I was too stubborn or too scared to admit it and follow Him completely. I said I had given Him everything back in 2000, but I see now I hadn’t. I realize today that the surrendering of a life is a process that doesn’t just happen in an instant. It has a starting point followed by years and years of small, sometimes infinitesimal, changes.
Leaving my brothers and continuing my vacation, I am struck with this new idea and consider turning my car around, going back to Seattle and following that idea. I was excited. There was something about that calling that felt undeniable, but still some uncertainty weighed in my heart. What does full-time ministry look like for me? I continued the vacation, the biggest reason was a commitment I had previously made to a friend and a ministry called Club Beyond to be a leader at a service project the next month. Fast forward to next month.
April 2005, Slovakia, MCYM service project.
Here is where God lays it all out on the table. He shows me a place that brings together both of my passions, serving Him and serving my country. I had doubted God but shouldn’t have. If you don’t already know what MCYM is then you need to check out this site, http://www.mcym.org/. All of the nuts and bolts are there. Too lazy to read. Cliff notes follow.
MCYM was started back in the 80’s by a Young Life guy that noticed a total lack of spiritual ministry to the teenagers of our military families stationed overseas. MCYM has helped to fill that role by bringing together numerous youth organizations like, Young Life and Youth For Christ to facilitate youth ministry. It works with the Chaplains of the military, to communicate the love of Jesus Christ in understandable terms; essentially it is the youth pastors to the military.
When I found out that MCYM existed, everything started to make sense. I understood why God had placed me in the Army, why I had moved around a lot as a kid, why I still loved to travel and longed to live overseas, why I had a passion for raising up young men to love Jesus and grow to be more like Him, and why I had gone to college and graduated with a BS in Chemical Engineering (OK, maybe that last one isn’t so clear yet, but it will be; God has miraculously used everything else so He must have a reason for that too.)
If you are still reading this, I congratulate you. Brevity is not my strong suit, but I am working on it. Trust me when I say this could have been much, much longer. You should now have a clearer picture of where I am going. My plan of now is to leave for the ministry in December. So much has to happen before that so be praying. Pray specifically for:
A pastor and church. My current church is Mars Hill. It would make since that it would be the answer to this first prayer but not necessarily. I have been going to Mars Hill for almost 9 months, not a lot of time to develop strong ties and so maybe God has something else. Though, He brought me to MH for a reason, He just hasn’t told me yet.
Relationships – Both new and growing ones, and old and broken ones.
My current job – They have always known that I wasn’t going to be there forever, but now the reality of my leaving will be in the forefront of our interactions. That could bring strife and misunderstandings. Pray that I will be above reproach in all my actions and give them 100% of my efforts while on the job. I can’t afford to steal their time and tarnish the work of Jesus in me.
Thank you for your prayers and time. If you can’t tell, I am excited. I imagine that much news will continue to follow. Maybe I will start this blog back up. Maybe?
I was going to leave you with some cheesy blessing, telling you to go in peace, be well, and cap it off with a motivational bible verse like Isaiah 6:8, but that is totally cliché, and humbly speaking, I am above that.
It is tomorrow.
Jason
But this post is not about triathlons, or shaved legs, or massages. It is an update as to where I am going, or more specifically, where God is taking me.
As some of you may know, I have been planning on moving to Europe to work with the teenagers of our military families. You all should remember my travels last year in Europe and the military ministry that I volunteered for. I am pretty sure that I also have been mentioning my continuing application process with Young Life International and where that is going. Well, the next step has taken place. Two weeks ago, I was down in Colorado Springs and was officially accepted by MCYM (Military Community Youth Ministries). What this means is that all the blocks have been checked, all the hoops jumped through, all the skeletons laid to rest and I am moving forward, full speed ahead, to be in Europe by the first part of next year. Allow me to expound.
A good starting point is the summer of 2000. I worked as the TCL (Training in Christian Living) Projects Coordinator for Lakeside Bible Camp (LBC). Prior to that, an Internet company occupied my day but my heart knew there was so much more. Maybe I should go back even further. (maybe not, I am writing a blog not a book) No, I will start with TCL. At LBC, for probably the first time, I really served my God. I had done things at various churches all growing up, but I can barely say I was a Christian, let alone a faithful servant. For the first time at camp, I gave my whole life to Jesus. He had it all. Working with teenagers, modeling Christ, working hard as an example and sharing His love eclipsed anything in my previous 24 years. A seed was planted; the thirst, ever so slightly quenched, called out to a longing in my heart and revealed so subtly what God had in store. That summer started it. And then the Army came calling.
The Army is a good thing. I don’t say it came calling like it interrupted the growth of that planted seed. It came calling to reveal its part in God’s plan. Did I know that at the time, no! Were there times in the Army that I questioned my place, doubted my resolve, worried about a wasted life, yes! See in my heart there has been a continued personal conflict. A paradox. I finally, after years of running from God, give Him everything, or at least think I do, and with that I found an amazing peace and joy. When I begin my military service, I find another purpose, a different sort of peace and joy, another passion. So there I was, these two passions before me: A life serving Christ and a life serving my country. The next five years were a blur.
James 1:6 talks about the surface of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. It does not know where it is going; only that forces outside itself give it direction. The sea is compared with a man who doubts. I was that man. On any given day, my two passions would collide. I could not see 1. How God could use those two passions together and 2. Why He had given me both of them. They seemed mutually exclusive. I could either do one or the other, but not both and certainly not both simultaneously. So I spend five years searching for the perfect job. Fast forward to last year.
It is the winter of 2004-2005. My army unit has recently returned from over a year in the desert and 9 months later I am still on Active Duty for various reasons. Still searching, I apply for various government jobs, consider staying in the Army, and generally am flailing about with the wind. My prayers to Jesus are strong and consistent, “What do you have for me?” Looking back it seems so obvious what His answers are, but at that time, I either wasn’t listening or didn’t comprehend. My time on Active Duty is coming to an end and it is clear that my work with the Army is doing the same. Again, I look back and am amazed by God’s timing. As I mentioned I had applied with some other government agencies. I am anxiously awaiting replies when the Active Duty releases me. Having not heard anything except “no’s”, and with no job or ties holding me back, I begin the long vacation traveling the world, the plan for which had been two years in the making.
It is the middle of Montana, March 7th, 2005. Driving to my brother’s place in Havre, I have listened to probably my 3rd or 4th Mars Hill sermon when an idea hits me. I remember the date because of this blog, “In the beginning…Day 1”. The idea I was talking about is that of going into full-time ministry. God was being very convincing that day and my first inclination was to plant a church. Mars Hill is big into church planting, hence my idea to plant a church. The thing is even before March 7th, I knew that God had His ministry in my future, but for what ever reason, I was too stubborn or too scared to admit it and follow Him completely. I said I had given Him everything back in 2000, but I see now I hadn’t. I realize today that the surrendering of a life is a process that doesn’t just happen in an instant. It has a starting point followed by years and years of small, sometimes infinitesimal, changes.
Leaving my brothers and continuing my vacation, I am struck with this new idea and consider turning my car around, going back to Seattle and following that idea. I was excited. There was something about that calling that felt undeniable, but still some uncertainty weighed in my heart. What does full-time ministry look like for me? I continued the vacation, the biggest reason was a commitment I had previously made to a friend and a ministry called Club Beyond to be a leader at a service project the next month. Fast forward to next month.
April 2005, Slovakia, MCYM service project.
Here is where God lays it all out on the table. He shows me a place that brings together both of my passions, serving Him and serving my country. I had doubted God but shouldn’t have. If you don’t already know what MCYM is then you need to check out this site, http://www.mcym.org/. All of the nuts and bolts are there. Too lazy to read. Cliff notes follow.
MCYM was started back in the 80’s by a Young Life guy that noticed a total lack of spiritual ministry to the teenagers of our military families stationed overseas. MCYM has helped to fill that role by bringing together numerous youth organizations like, Young Life and Youth For Christ to facilitate youth ministry. It works with the Chaplains of the military, to communicate the love of Jesus Christ in understandable terms; essentially it is the youth pastors to the military.
When I found out that MCYM existed, everything started to make sense. I understood why God had placed me in the Army, why I had moved around a lot as a kid, why I still loved to travel and longed to live overseas, why I had a passion for raising up young men to love Jesus and grow to be more like Him, and why I had gone to college and graduated with a BS in Chemical Engineering (OK, maybe that last one isn’t so clear yet, but it will be; God has miraculously used everything else so He must have a reason for that too.)
If you are still reading this, I congratulate you. Brevity is not my strong suit, but I am working on it. Trust me when I say this could have been much, much longer. You should now have a clearer picture of where I am going. My plan of now is to leave for the ministry in December. So much has to happen before that so be praying. Pray specifically for:
A pastor and church. My current church is Mars Hill. It would make since that it would be the answer to this first prayer but not necessarily. I have been going to Mars Hill for almost 9 months, not a lot of time to develop strong ties and so maybe God has something else. Though, He brought me to MH for a reason, He just hasn’t told me yet.
Relationships – Both new and growing ones, and old and broken ones.
My current job – They have always known that I wasn’t going to be there forever, but now the reality of my leaving will be in the forefront of our interactions. That could bring strife and misunderstandings. Pray that I will be above reproach in all my actions and give them 100% of my efforts while on the job. I can’t afford to steal their time and tarnish the work of Jesus in me.
Thank you for your prayers and time. If you can’t tell, I am excited. I imagine that much news will continue to follow. Maybe I will start this blog back up. Maybe?
I was going to leave you with some cheesy blessing, telling you to go in peace, be well, and cap it off with a motivational bible verse like Isaiah 6:8, but that is totally cliché, and humbly speaking, I am above that.
It is tomorrow.
Jason
Saturday, April 29, 2006
Not thing here? Where?
When everything seems right, what's wrong?
I feel like I want to write something, but I am not.
It has been a long time and maybe everyone is thinking that I am starting to lighten up, starting to dwell on the world a little less, and maybe that is the case, but I doubt it.
Maybe I am so consumed by thoughts and a journey so completely unknown that there are no knew words in my head overflowing into expression.
The other day I made a few decisions. Not a big deal for most, but here it's rather large.
What is the next thing that happens?
A cross roads. I go back, I question.
Now, do I stick with the first, or fall for the second?
When life seemed comprehensible, it gets turned over.
When life seems like it is moving forward, it gets a flat tire.
Fat Tire.
Let's drive on in the darkness, let's see what is around the next corner.
Let's follow the blind man, let's meet his maker.
It is tomorrow.
Jason
I feel like I want to write something, but I am not.
It has been a long time and maybe everyone is thinking that I am starting to lighten up, starting to dwell on the world a little less, and maybe that is the case, but I doubt it.
Maybe I am so consumed by thoughts and a journey so completely unknown that there are no knew words in my head overflowing into expression.
The other day I made a few decisions. Not a big deal for most, but here it's rather large.
What is the next thing that happens?
A cross roads. I go back, I question.
Now, do I stick with the first, or fall for the second?
When life seemed comprehensible, it gets turned over.
When life seems like it is moving forward, it gets a flat tire.
Fat Tire.
Let's drive on in the darkness, let's see what is around the next corner.
Let's follow the blind man, let's meet his maker.
It is tomorrow.
Jason
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
