My brother calls me this morning and asks if I had heard about dad.
What about him?
I just called mom and she couldn't talk because she is taking him to the hospital, he is having chest pains, it's pretty serious.
What? Where are they? Hold on, let me call mom and put her on three-way.
Mom, this is Jason
I can't talk right now I am trying to listen to the nurse, I will call you back, bye.
And then there was nothing. Talk about rocking your world? Sitting in the Revolutions coffee shop, across the street from Greg's, I just start to cry. I couldn't hold them back. I get back on the phone with Justin and we connect with Tiffany and Jared. The four of us kids talk for a while, Tiffany prays, I cry.
I guess there has just been a lot going on in my head. Reading this book about dads and brothers, football and what it means to be a man is just working me over and then this. Here was the worst thought too. My dad turns 60 this year, his dad died when he was 64, when my dad was 30, the same age as I am right now. I was just kept imagining my dad dying. It could happen, it will happen, and with that I will be worthless for a long time. I love my dad.
So what do you do when mortality hits you like it did me this morning? I don't know, move closer so that you can spend more time together. I love the quote from the song "Wear Sunscreen",
"Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future."
I am going to take her advice. I just ordered this book, Questions for My Father: Finding the Man Behind Your Dad, we will see if it is any good. I'll let you know.
It is tomorrow.
Jason
Oh, and dad is fine. They are holding him over night at the hospital for test and just to be careful. The docs haven't ruled out a heart attack, but they feel it is unlikely. Probably the Mexican food.
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I'm sorry to hear how upset you were, but I'm glad he's okay.
ReplyDeleteOne time my dad was talking to my mother as she was driving and all of a sudden she says "Oh shit!" and he hears a horrible crashing sound and tons of noise, and he almost has a heart attack right there.
A truck in front of her lost something off the back and it almost hit her, and she drove off the Interstate into the woods. She was fine, but my dad got about 25% grayer that day.
Yeah, in the end dad is fine, but it was the unknown that really sucked, also the though of lossing him. I certainly feel like a house of cards these days, but that doesn't mean things aren't good and getting better.
ReplyDeleteBut it does take years from your life that is for sure.
Well, as you've said, your dad is ok and the panic is over.
ReplyDeleteBut, I was warmed by the tender comments about your dad that you posted for all of us to see.
Have you personally called him to verbally let him know just what he means to you. If not, this ordeal is not over.......
way to be pro-active about getting to know your dad. I know i wish i had gotten to know mine better.
ReplyDeletehey, I went out on the web right away after reading the blog on your dad and purchased "Questions for my father...." from Amazon. Would you believe the book has yet to arrive? did you get the book yet? Have you started reading it? Maybe the text will be good blog fodder.....hope to see you soon.
ReplyDeleteI'm comnpletely sick of looking up your blog and this one continually being there. I would like an update, anything asap!
ReplyDeletei love you, update your blog, you pussy. i can't wait to see you in a couple weeks.
ReplyDelete